A Rock and a Hard Place

Aftermath

I wake up the next morning alone. My eyelids are sticky from day old mascara and the crap your eyes make when you cry too much. I try not to let my anxiety eat at me, knowing Andy is an early bird and that's why he isn't in my bunk most mornings, but it still rumbles in my gut as I slide my legs out and fall to the floor. I groan as I land and rub my eyes, not bothering to check for who's awake, and instead walk straight to the bathroom. By the mercy of God it isn't occupied so I slip in.

After peeing, I use a make-up wipe to get all the make-up from yesterday off of my face. My least favorite feeling is that of oily, separated foundation on skin. When it's cleared up I laugh at my appearance anyway, the wrinkled Hawaiian shirt and disheveled hair a real look. By the time I find my brush Eric is banging on the bathroom door, so I carry it out with me as he quickly shuffles in.

When my hair is tamed, I flip through my bag to find something to wear for the day. I figure I'll text Andy or ask someone where he is after that. The first thing I land on is black jeans with numerous tears in them and a dusty rose bralette. They're good enough for the moment, so when Eric stumbles out of the bathroom I slip in again, before someone else can, and change.

Upon this exit I feel like a semi-functioning human being. I still don't have socks on, though, so I return to my bag to look for them and a t-shirt. As I'm pulling a pair of socks on I hear the bus door open, and when I turn my head Andy and Juan are entering. Juan scoots past me while Andy places two cups of coffee and his phone on the booth's table. He's already dressed in different clothes and put together completely, whereas I've managed to find half an outfit.

When I walk towards him he smiles at me. "Good morning, kitten," he cooes, bringing me into his arms.

I smile at the familiar pet name as I wrap my arms around his neck. After a few small kisses I mumble, "Morning, tiger." My voice is rough since it's the first thing I've said today, so I clear my throat as he lets me go and grab my coffee. After a sip I ask, "What time is it?"

"Almost ten," he answers as he sits. He scoots down so I can slide in beside him, and after another long sip I curl up to him. I'm still tired as hell and he left me this morning. He wraps an arm around me as he starts telling me the info for the day: which stage we're parked nearest too, how long it'll take to bike to our stages, our set times, when his meet and greet is, how hot it's supposed to be. It's pretty comforting knowing that on days that I'm this messy he stays constant with being on top of his shit.

Juan walks by us, starting to exit before realizing that I'm sitting out here too. "Oh, good morning, Ronnie," he says as he stops.

"What's up, dude," I greet before taking another sip of coffee, but it's difficult since I laugh at my own response.

He chuckles too. He starts to walk away, but then he stops again. I turn my full attention to him as he rocks back and forth, trying to decide if he wants to say something else. I give him a look to tell him he should, so he asks, "Are you okay this morning?"

I nod, remembering last night as the reason he'd ask. Thinking of Belinda is sour, but I try to push it away. I shouldn't be so upset about seeing her. She's an ex, and it's something that I thought I got over a long time ago. She's not going to ruin the summer for me, that's for certain.

"I'm actually fine," I answer, looking at him. I sit up in the booth, and Andy removes his arm from my waist so I can get comfortable.

Juan squints at me, trying to see if I'm bullshitting him, but after a moment he nods too. "Good," he says. "Fuck her, right?"

"Already have," I joke, but I cringe for a moment. I don't know if that's a joke Andy would be comfortable with, despite the fact that I am. Juan shakes his head as he chuckles and leaves the bus. When I look at Andy he seems amused, but his body language proves he's feeling cautious. "Sorry," I mumble before I take another sip of coffee.