Undeniable

Chapter 1

Do you ever have that feeling when you want to do something but as you are in the process of doing it, you feel like you can’t ever come to finish it? Or you do it but it doesn’t end the way you feel like it should have gone? No? Well, let me tell you something: it isn’t a good feeling.

That’s where I am now. I am sitting in my fourth period class, waiting for the bell to ring, signaling the start of lunch. Nothing in my mind was functioning right. I have been thinking about something really bothering lately. Well- it’s not bothersome to some people, probably pathetic, really, but to me, it’s a big deal. I am going to tell my honest feelings to someone I’ve known for about a year, and I am very nervous!

I only told a few select people about these damned feelings. Feelings- why do they have to come up and ruin my business? It is complicating my entire friendship! I can’t focus around a guy I like for nothing. All I think about when I talk to him is how good he looks or how much I want to hug him. It’s hard to restrain myself from these intruding thoughts!

So I am sitting in class, three minutes left till the end and I am antsy like never before. Today, I plan to tell him how I feel. I am hoping to walk with him to the cafeteria and sit with him, hopefully alone- I don’t need an embarrassing hit to my ego any more today than it already is. One more minute left. I can do this! I can tell him and everything will be alright!

The bell rings and I zip out the door like a fire rocket, hoping to find him in the hallway somewhere. As if luck is on my side, I find him walking on the side of the walkway, next to the row of lockers. I tap him on his shoulder and smile when he faces me.

“Hey, Geena. What’s up?” he asks.

“Hey, Mr. Alzaren!”

“Ugh, don’t call me that! I feel like a teacher when you say, ‘Mr. Alzaren!” You might as well say, “hey professor!” he complains. He hated me calling him that but I did it anyway.

“Fine. I wanted to talk to you alone about something I think is- I think is super important,” I stutter like a stupid woman with her head stuck up you-know-where.

“Uhm yeah maybe later, but I can’t talk now, Geena. Sorry.” As he finishes that, I stop walking and stare at his back as he walks away and gets lost in the depths of swarming high schoolers. Disappointment fills my blood and I want to sit in a corner and stare up at the ceiling. All my excitement leaves my body and I am limp, with my loss of appetite affecting me immediately. I don’t know what to do, right now, so I walk to the secondary hallway, take a right, and head towards the doors at the end.

I shove them open angrily and walk across the patched grass over to the table I knew nobody wanted to sit at. I just wanted to be alone with my depressed state of mind. People don’t help when I’m like this. I get aggravated.

As if luck saw the turn of events, it decided to make it worse by sending people over. Even worse than that, they were my friends, and if I knew them at all, I knew they wouldn’t stop until they got an answer out of me.

“Ey, loner! What are you doing?” Alfred asks me. I continue to look at the surface of the table ignoring the pile of friends sitting at our- oh, my table. They all have food but I am empty handed. All the sounds they are making are annoying me and I just want to go away and think about Draco, the “oh-so-mighty” person I was slowly yet quickly falling for. He had no idea of course and I think that’s why I am acting like this. It could be a lot worse, I thought.

“Geena…” Silence. “Are you okaaaaaay?” Jose asks me slowly.

“I’m fine. I just want to be alone, if that’s okay.”