Only You

Chapter 15: Trouble

Gumising akong napakabigat ng pakiramdam ko. Hindi ko alam kung gaano ako katagal umiyak kagabi. Hindi nakapagtatakang mugtong-mugto ang mga mata ko. Nagdadalawang isip ako kung papasok ako ng opisina o magmumukmok na lang ako sa bahay. After what happened last night I don't want to see him yet. I'm still hurting. But I don't have a choice. Kailangan kong bumangon at harapin ang buhay.
Napabuntong-hininga ako habang inaayos ko ang kama ko. I fixed myself and was about to go down in the kitchen to prepare breakfast nang mapansin ko ang tray ng pagkain na dinala ni Adam para sa akin kagabi. Hindi ko ito kinain. I know it's bad to waste food but I just can't eat it. I'm too hurt and I just want to cry. I grabbed the tray and walked myself to the kitchen.

Muntik ko ng mabitawan ang trayng hawak ko nang makita ko sa kitchen si Adam cooking breakfast. I stood their for awhile watching his back as he gracefully moved in the kitchen. Maybe he felt that he was being watched, he turned around and faced me. Then our eyes met. Nakita kong lumamlam ang mga mata niya habang nakatitig sa mugto kong mga mata.

"Good morning!" Adam said.

I didn't answer.

Hindi ko natagalan ang pagtitig niya sa akin. Umiwas ako ng tingin. Dinala ko sa lababo at ibinaba doon ang tray ng pagkain.

"You didn't eat." Kunot noong sabi niya habang nakatingin pa rin sa akin.

"Busog ako" I said.

Mas lalong kumunot ang noo niya at halos magbuhol na ang mga kilay niya sa sinabi ko. He took a deep breath trying to control himself.

"Breakfast is ready. Have a seat and let's eat." He said

"I'm not hungry. Thank you!"

"Damn it! Alexandra! Are you trying to kill yourself!" He shouted.

Nagulat ako sa sigaw niya. But I tried to stay still.

"Thank you for the breakfast. I appreciate it but I am really full. Excuse me but I need to get ready for work." Then I marched myself outside the kitchen.

"Please love!" He sound begging.

"I know you're mad at me. I know I was an asshole last night. But please take care of yourself. Please eat with me."

I turned around and looked at him. I can't help my tears. I tried to say something but I can't breathe. It hurts to see him that way but I am hurting too.

"I'm sorry. I can't. " then I ran to my room. I left him there in the kitchen looking dumbfounded.

I locked myself in the bathroom. I found myself sitting on the floor crying my heart out. I don't know how long I stayed that way.

Nang mapagod ako sa kakaiyak tumayo ako at naligo. I don't feel like going to work but it will just make the situation worse if I don't show up. So I decided to get up and drag my ass to work.

Tahimik ang buong bahay paglabas ko ng kwarto. Maybe Adam already left. I was on my way out when I saw him sitting on the couch as if he was waiting for me.

"Are you ready? Let's go?! He said.

I nodded at him and we both walked outside the house.

Pagkasakay namin ng kotse ay naging tahimik ang biyahe naming dalawa. Paminsan-minsan ay nahuhuli ko siyang nakatitig sa akin. It feels so weird! It feels awkward. It feels like we're strangers. Is it just me feeling it? I sighed and decided to watch the busy street through my window.

Adam stopped at Starbucks drive thru and bought coffee for both of us.

"Please drink this and eat the sandwich." Sabi niya habang inaabot niya sa akin ang mainit na kape at sandwich.