The horizon and the balcony

Chapter ten

Lafayette walked through the front door and crashed on the couch in a sigh of relief. They loved their job but thank god it was over and done with for the day. It was bring your child to work day and they were not prepared to be the center of attention. It seems like French words,big poofy hair and jewelry lures in any child.

Looking past all the little hands tugging on their hair they really enjoyed it. Lafayette had always loved taking care of people, specifically children. There was just this unlimited amount of energy and curiosity and innocence that melted their heart.

"Woah you look rough" the couch sank down next to them. They rolled their eyes and looked up to meet a freckled smirking face.

"That is what happens when you spend five hours entertaining children"They said.

John seemed to stiffen up and shook his head scrunching his face up.

"God I hate children"he spat.

Lafayette's face fell and they sat up tilting their head. Hate and Children felt so wrong being in the same sentence together. It was like hating carbs, people did but it still surprised them every time when it was mentioned.

"No no no baby I...I don't hate children. I just don't like being responsible for them"he said.

Lafayette nodded slowly.

"This is about your past, no?"They asked gently. They only knew the bare minimum of John's story, growing up through the system and being a high school dropout. There was so much more to it...

December 22nd,Harlem, Saint Mary's foster home. John had just gotten home from school and slung his backpack on the chair almost pouring over with excitement. Ms.Mac's first grade class had spent a good portion of the day creating Christmas ornaments, he couldn't wait to show Janice his!

It was a picture of him,her and Steven holding a toy car. It's what he's wanted for years, every Christmas she said next year but maybe this year was the year!

Janice had walked into view and he ran up to her pulling on her pant leg.

"Mommy mommy look what we done in sch-"he started but she pressed a finger to her lips narrowing her eyes at him.

Steven soon walked into the kitchen from the living room bouncing a crying baby on his hip. His eyes lit up once he saw John and he smiled.

"Daddy guess wha-"

"Jimmy it's good you're back, how about you take Jamie up to your room and watch her?"he said.

John's face fell and he nodded opening his arms. He thought things were supposed to be different when it was Christmas time, why weren't they listening to him?

"Such a good big brother, how's the big ol seven treatin ya?"he asked. John placed the baby on his hip and furrowed his brows.

"Daddy 'm only six-"

"Sorry bud I gotta take this call, you might be getting a little brother for Christmas"he said with a wink. John's bottom lip trembled as he walked up the stairs as quickly as he could. A baby for Christmas again? Where did mommy and daddy keep getting all these babies from?

He pushed open the door and scooted up on his bed pressing his back against the wall. Jamie soon began to fuss and he rubbed her back trying not to panic.

"P-please no Jamie, if you cry mommy an daddy gonna get mad at me"he said and tried rocking her. To no avail the baby let out a wail. John rested his head against the wall and let out a whimper as the tears rolled down his face.

"John...john..."

Mommy and daddy were going to be so mad at him.

"John!"the voice exclaimed followed by rapid clapping. He took a deep breath and blinked his eyes rapidly looking at the room around them.

"John why are you crying my love?"Lafayette asked wiping his tears.

"I...I can't do children Lafayette I'm sorry but I can't!"He cried out pulling his knees up to his chest.

"Shhh it's okay my love it's okay-"

"They were so angry at me! So angry, I was just a kid!"he sobbed.

"They are not here anymore, you're safe here"They wrapped their arms around John and pulled him onto their lap rubbing his back.

"I thought they loved me, I really did. I was just an extra set of hands"he said.

"Are you talking about your childhood?"They asked. John nodded and wiped his eyes.

"They loved every other child in there except for me. I didn't get shit for my birthday or for Christmas, Hell they didn't even know my name half the time"he said.

"Everyone else got adopted except for me...I had to grow up there"he said and pulled his shirt up wiping his face.

Lafayette nodded solemnly and felt their heart snap in two.

"I know you did not get a childhood John, but maybe we could give you one?"They asked softly. John's head snapped up and his eyes bulged out of his skull.

"W-what do you mean by that? You mean that weird daddy kink shit?"He asked. Lafayette rolled their eyes and shook their head.

"No not the 'weird daddy kink shit', it's called age regression. I think it could be very beneficial towards you...and Alexander, I've thought about it for a long time"They said.

Age regression?

"I saw you sucking on your fingers the other day, that makes you feel safe?"They asked.

John nodded slowly.

"I will wait until the couple discussion to spill all the...the how you say that expression?"they asked.

"The beans?"John croaked.

"Ah yes! Spill the beans, what a funny expression-anyways! You will be able to return to adult life whenever you want and no one outside of us has to know"They said.

"When you mean childhood y-you mean like goin to the park an the zoo an stuff?"he asked. Lafayette nodded their head and John smiled a bit, he had always wanted to go to the zoo.

"I think I wanna know more about this"