Broken Wings

Chapter 17

I was finally home , my stomach was hurting I wasn't  sure if it's because I haven't eaten all day or because I am stressed and tired . We had a promotion going on today , we were so busy that I couldn't even sit for a minute .
I went to the kitchen  , opened the fridge and brought some cheese and bread .

I missed the days when I used to comeback and see my mom waiting for me , preparing my favorite food  , the house is empty without her she brought life to this house .How I miss her , maybe if she was still here none of this would've happened.

The memory of him kissing me keeps flashing on my mind.  Was it that beautiful because I knew it was wrong or simply because he's a great kisser?  My whole body wanted him , the feeling I get whenever he's next to me is something new to me , something I have never experienced before . Growing up without a dad made me thirsty for security, for protection and he , without realizing, makes me feel so secure , so safe and warm .He made me feel so safe and warm . How can I  that way  when I know deep inside that he's not for me and he'll never be ? How can I look into his eyes again after everything that happened ?

He punched Ben  in front of everyone , what was he thinking ? Although his reaction wasn't appropriate but deep inside I was happy  to see him defending me looking so angry yet so handsome .

Behind that pretty face he has, there's a lot of pain hidden , while dancing his eyes and his mind were somewhere else , his face was sad , hurt , angry .. My weakness point is seeing somebody sad especially him . I wish I can know his story , I wish I can help him , we two needs each other the most maybe , but at the same time it's impossible for us to be together.

The door bell rang while I was on my way to put the dirty dishes into the dishwasher, I wasn't really expecting anyone and I don't actually feel like talking to anyone .
Ben was on the door carrying a pizza box and a movie, he looked cute in his black playboy  T-shirt and his messy hair .

"  Before you say anything, I am not here to talk , I am gonna give myself a chance to be your friend again , I am not asking you for anything all that I want is to spend some time with you " . He said in a very polite way .

I couldn't  help it but gave him a little smile .

" This chance will be taken away from you once you exceed your limits , are we good ? " .

He nodded his head and went in , I somehow needed that kind of night .
We sat on the living room's carpet , ate pizza and watched our favorite movie " big daddy " for the fifth time and I still laugh at it every time . He kept his promise , he was laughing and looking at me every once in a while .

Even during the movie and Ben is next to me , Alex was always on my mind . Was wondering what  he could be possibly doing , the idea of him living with his wife keeps crossing my mind , as a reminder of the mistake I am about to make if i keep him in my life .

It was getting late and I started to feel tired , Ben kissed me on my cheek softly , wished me a good night and left . I grabbed a pillow , put it on the carpet , turned off the lights and slept peacefully.