Broken Wings

Chapter 18

                 Alex's POV:

It's 2 am and I cannot sleep , I am staring at jessica while she's asleep , it's been a while since I last saw her sleeping next to me , it's weird how suddenly a person who used to mean the world to you becomes a stranger .
It's weird how a person can change that much , we used to be the happiest couple , people were always jealous of our relationship. I couldn't imagine that one day comes when Jessica will cheat on me in our own house , maybe getting married at a very young age isn't a good thing after all.

I myself have changed too , I spent the whole dinner comparing Jessica  to Lisa in my mind which is something  I've never done in my whole life .
How will I be able to get her off my mind and in everything I do I think of her and I wish she can be with me ? I've spent all the evening imagining Elizabeth's face instead of jessica's .
Imagining her as my wife , cooking dinner for me , spending evening together , kissing and sleeping next to each other .
Why life is that unfair? Why haven't I met her long time ago : that girl is my dream , she's my angel .

I know Jessica is trying her best to fix our relationship , but she can't. There's something broken inside of me , and can't be fixed . If it wasn't for Carl , I would've had left her long time ago . 

He means the world to me , his smile is everything I've ever asked  for . And I won't take it away no matter what this will cost me . I am ready to give up on everything for him , even if this means my own happiness .

Since i cannot sleep, I left the bed and went straight to his room , I missed him , these last couple of days were busy I couldn't get enough of him. He's sleeping like a little bear , his curly hair is covering his face , I've always wondered about that  relationship between parents and their kids that can make the parents give up on everything for their own children , and I didn't quite understand it till I had him .

I gave him a small cuddle and rested my head on his pillow trying to catch some sleep . The day has been way too long for me , it started with seeing her in my class  after a week of absence, kissing her in my office , punching her boyfriend and ended with me getting drunk and sleeping next to jessica after so many years . She was drunk too , she tried her best to kiss me and make love to me but I was pulling her away , didn't want her to ruin Lisa's taste that she left on my lips,

Maybe I'll be strong  enough tomorrow to tell her to stay away from me , but in my mind , she'll always be mine . And I will never ever think about anyone in everything I do , but her . She entered my life , my mind and my heart and I know deep inside that no matter what she'll be stuck there forever.