Broken Wings

Chapter 32

There  was a million questions on my mind but I decided to start with this one .

Me: " Have you ever cheated on your wife before?"

I wasn't looking at him to see the expressions on his face because my head was resting on his chest , I was enjoying the sound of his breath and heartbeats with that magical smell of his cologne.

He took a deep breath and said :

" Although , I was always feeling empty inside , but on the other side , I stopped believing in love , I saw love as a feeling that we convince ourselves of it but it doesn't exist . And I couldn't sleep with any women that I have no feelings for so no , I haven't cheated on my wife . My turn"

" Are you still with that annoying guy that I've punched the other day ? "
He asked and his heartbeats got faster as if he wasn't ready for the answer.

" Ben you mean ? No we broke up even before I met you . Actually a day before I met you and I was trying all this time to give him another chance but I couldn't. "

He stood silent for a moment and then asked :

" What did he do to you?"

" No no sir that's my turn " I interrupted him and he laughed agreeing with me.

" Where is your marriage going to ? " l've been thinking of that question for so long and I am not sure if I am ready for the answer .

Alex took a deep breath , words were hardly coming out from his mouth , he finally replied:

" If it wasn't for Carl  I would've had left Jessica long time ago , but he made me promise him that I will never leave his mom , his best friend's parents got divorced last year and he doesn't want the same thing to happen to him " .

The situation is not easy at all , I thought to myself. I am not sure where our relationship is going and I won't be a girlfriend of a married man and I can't be the one who hurt a little boy's feelings . He's right , he wants his parents next to him and I have no place among them .

Alex's hands were on my head caressing it, a small tear that I couldn't keep went down on my face .

" Baby , he said grabbing my face , I will do whatever it takes to be with you. The situation is very different right now , I am in love , I am totally in love with you and I cannot live away from you anymore . I wanna be with you every second of the day . I just want you to stay next to me and give me time to figure this whole thing out ".

His words comforted me , he knows exactly what to say . His confidence is the best thing I like about him and I trust him blindly.

"I love you and I trust you ". He kissed my hands and held them tightly. " Now your turn" I said smiling.

" Lisa , what made you not answer my calls and texts all this time ? Was it my wife's  behavior at the hospital because I swear all that was fake . I have no idea what was happening to her that day as if she was drunk , we don't talk at all and if we do we'll be fighting. We literally are separated ".

I didn't want to answer that question because I know if I tell him what she has said to me that day , he will get angry and God knows what he will do so I chose my only option .

" Pass " I said with confidence.

" No please you can't do that to me " his eyes were begging but I had no other choice , I need to stay away from troubles.

" now my turn " I said trying to change the subject.

" when did you start having feelings for me ?" 

He squeezed my shoulder and said without hesitating.

" From the very first day , when I saw you crying in the hallway  , words were hardly coming out from my mouth after I saw your face . You looked like a broken angel , The touch of your hand was like an electric shock to my body and that's when I knew that for me you are not an ordinary person  , I wanted more of you , I didn't want our conversation to end but you were hurt because of my stupidity..."

" shhh " I interrupted him , "I know that you had your reasons ".

" But they don't give me the right to insult you ... you had a lot going on with your life . Your car was blocked and you broke up with your  boyfriend ..."

" and my mom was newly dead..." I added, I didn't wanna make him feel bad but I  want him to know that i wasn't crying only because of Ben .

" I am so sorry I had no idea that your mother was dead ..." his voice went away for a minute his heartbeats were going very fast , His squeezed my hand as if he's trying to say something.

" She died one week before i broke up with Ben , she had cancer ". I tried my best not to cry , I don't wanna be dramatic anymore I am done with that .

" Lisa , I don't know what to say . Sorry will never be enough . You are a very strong girl and you keep surprising me . I swear I will make it up to you one day and make you forget all the pain you went through " he kissed my forehead and caressed my hair with his fingers ,this feeling is indescribable  .

I remembered the days when I used to finish all my homework , take a hot shower and sleep on my mom's shoulder ... it is exactly the same feeling . my eyes are getting really heavy , I hear him saying things but his voice is very deep . I guess I am falling asleep .