Just some poetry

XXXXV. Ghost Boy

One day you were here and one day you were not; thoughts of you slip through everyday; all I want to say is thank you; for arguing over little things; showing me why I shouldn't be a civil engineer; arguing with me at Olive Garden over nothing I can recall; being a great son; being a great friend to those around us; being a great brother to the boy I love most; showing me what happiness is and how to be happy; to be my biggest role model; for giving me the second chance of love; to being the brother I almost had; the jokes we made for the day we actually would be; for giving me advice on the little things; for the conversations that slip into my mind throughout the days; yelling at me for being too flirty; for only trying to look out for your younger brother; for understanding how I am curious about the world; not getting mad at me when I asked why or asked how much; laughing at my stupid-corny jokes that no one else thought was funny; stomping your feet and yelling random lines from tv shows when bored; loving a woman who was close to me who will never forget you; showing me motivation for college; giving me thoughts on what to do in college; giving me small vacations on the house boat you had for college; all a dark sadness over these memories; can I go to clemson?; can I see the place you crashed while going to class to better yourself?; I still miss you; your presence on everything that lingers; your clothes are too big; I still can barely visit your lonely grave; the broken dog statue still continues to smile; your flower vase constantly colorful; the red toy car stays glued on your grave with the change for gas; these days without you are hard; nights filled with teary eyes and wet faces more often than not; mad at myself for the harsh words we exchanged; mad that we hated each other when we first met; I am still mad at the world; mad that I never got to tell you how much I loved you; the day of hearing the words "he's brain dead" still haunt my dreams; my screams and bawling bouncing off that waiting room's walls; the way your girlfriend looked when she realized you were dead after no one had the heart to tell her; the way your father cried at your memorial; I am mad at you; why did you have take that turn?; why did you have to die?