Knee Socks (BWS)

Terrible News

I love you guys. Just saying. S x

Sarah was still on the phone when the bus came to pick us up, she had gone very pale. On the bus she just got into her bunk and carried on her conversation. I sat with the boys, feeling a bit on edge.

"What's up, do you know?" asked James. I bit my lip and shook my head.

"I hope she's ok." I said. After another hour or so she came in.

"Brad can we talk?" she asked. I followed her and we sat on the edge of the bunk.

"What did your brother want?" I asked.

"It's about my parents. Well, my Mum mostly." she said, looking kind of in shock and emotionless. I wrapped my arm around her.

"My Mum is dead." she said.

"What?"

"My Mum has been dead for 2 weeks and my fucking arsehole of a brother didn't tell me until today! He calls me up and says Dad isn't taking it very well, he's starving himself to death. He hasn't eaten in 2 weeks so he's now in hospital on a feeding tube thingy, if he doesn't start eating they've given him a few months to live." She said, her face wiped of any feeling.

"Oh my God, that's terrible!" I said.

"Dudley has to go back to uni soon, so he said I have to go to Dad. My Mums been dead for 2 fucking weeks and now I have to put my life on hold for a man who doesn't even love me. Like, I'm not even in his will." She said.

"Wait, so you have to leave?" she nodded.

"Yeah, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. We're gonna be in different places, your young, there'll be other girls and I'm not gonna be there. I don't know if this is gonna work." she said.

"No! No! I'll wait for you, I love you. Don't do this to me Sarah!" I said, my heart dropping.

"I love you to Brad, but I couldn't do that to you. You would only be able to like, get one text a day from me for a few months."

"I don't care, I love you and when this is over we can be together again." I said.

"Look, I just need to be by myself for a few hours ok?" she said.

"Do you want me to tell the others?" I asked. She shrugged and crawled into her bunk. I sat on the edge of mine, not quite knowing how to feel. I felt angry at Dudley for not telling Sarah, upset with the fact that she might not even be with me anymore. I went and sat on the sofa, the others looked at me expectantly.

"Sarah has to leave the tour soon, her Mum is dead and her Dad is dying." I said. The boys all came over to me.

"Oh my God is she ok?" asked Connor, his eyes filled with concern.

"No, she wants to be alone for a bit. I just don't want to lose her." I said. James wrapped an arm around Tamara protectively but that just made me feel worse. I picked at a bit of food before going to bed.

I lay there for a while staring at the ceiling in the dark, not really knowing what to do. I wanted to support her in this time but I couldn't drop everything and go to Paris. I could live with one text a day, it wouldn't be the same but it would be better than nothing. I waited for her to crawl into my bunk before realising that for the first time she wasn't going to come down. So I went up.

"What are you doing?" she asked. I couldn't see her but I knew that she had been crying.

"I'm not gonna leave you alone in this. Even if I only get one text a day from you it'd be better than not having you. And I think it would be impossible for either if us to watch you go through this by yourself." I said.

"I might die," she said.

"I bet you won't."

"I might fall in love with a French guy."

"I'll take my chances."

"Why do you care so much? No one else does."

"Because your my IKEA girl, remember?" I said.

"I miss my mum." she said, and started crying again. I wrapped my arms around her as she cried. We stayed up all night together, her crying and me thinking. She didn't want to lose me but she thought she didn't deserve me, because everyone she loved left her or mistreated her. As her tears soaked into my shirt I just held her and hoped that she could see that one person still cared about her.

And I never wanted to let her go.