Looking For Our Stars

Forever Yours

                             Hazel POV

I lay in my hospital bed like I have done so many times. I have nothing to do anymore, all I ever do now is read An Imperial Affliction Its all I have left of him. Of us, I read it every day, when I finish I read, the letter he sent to Peter Van Houten, and after I read that a I read his text messages to me.  Every time, I read something he wrote, or we share it brings tears to my eyes. 

"I love you Augustus Waters! Okay?" In my head he responds but I open my eyes, and know its not real.

"Hazel?"

"Yea, mom?"

"Issac is here,"

"Tell him to come in,"

"Hey Hazel Grace Lancaster," Issac said 

"What do you want Issac,"

"I know where both going through the same thing, and all but maybe we could both visit his grave today?"

"Is it Wednesday?"

"Why yes Hazel, yes it is."

"Then lets go Issac, and its Hazel Grace."

We walked, along the the street, the same one Augustus drove me on the first day I saw him. I looked at the trash can his car knocked over. Issac and I walked for what seemed like forever. We walked past the park, past the store, though the store, I bought a rose, and a pack of cigarettes, like I do every time I got to the cemetery. When we got to the cemetery he was their, looking into my eyes, like he does every time I show up.

"Hazel?"

"Its Hazel Grace,"

"Okay, Hazel Grace? Do you know him?"

"No, why?"

"Cause he is looking at you."

"No, he is looking at my medical equipment, all of them look at the equipment, non of them really look at me,"

"Hazel Grace Lancaster, that's not true Augustus fell in love with Hazel Grace, who has cancer who ignores who the outside is and focused on the inside Hazel, now no matter how many tubes or oxygen tanks you carry around Augustus will always love you, and you will find another guy do you understand!"

"Issac, just go."

"Hazel?"

"JUST GO!"

Issac left and once again I was along to suffer my own my own doings, I laid by Augustus and had an imaginary conversation with him I closed my eyes looking at his beautiful eyes, I got myself starring and falling for the most perfect person, and I'm glad for our small infinity.

"Augustus, I need you, why did you have to go, I know your not really gone but it would still be nice for you to be right next to me forever."

"Hazel Grace, I will forever and always be with you, do you know why? Because I love you, I will shout it out to the world to let everyone know, that you are my one true love till the end."  I herd his sweet voice in my head, as he spoke I felt home. I belonged to him, he was true to me, he showed me character, he gave me life.

"I miss you so much,"

"I miss you, forever more, but we shall never be separated. Never I will be with you, till the end in your heart, then you will be the one to find me again."

"See you again my love," I said opening my eyes, looking down, on where he lays, resting a single Rose with one cigarette inside.

"Who is he?" A voice said behind me I looked behind and a tall, skinny, pale guy came up to me he had dark brown curly hair and looked into my Hazel eyes.

"He is nobody,"

"You love him don't you?"

"Yea, I do. Who have you been seeing?"

"Her name was Alaska, she was the most amazing perfect girl, their ever was. What about him?" 

"Augustus, I have no words for him, besides prepossessing, and astonishing."

"How did he die?" When he spoke those words I felt tears run though my eyes it felt like my heart stopped, my legs felt weak and I wanted to cry, I pulled back my tears, and I looked at his grave.

"Cancer,"

"Car crash," the boy said

"I'm Miles by the way, but you can call me Pudge."

"Pudge? Okay?"

"Whats with the okay?"

"Its nothing, I'm Hazel Grace,"

"Nice to meet you," Pudge shook my hand and smiled at me, it felt unreal that someone who lover died not to long ago can just get back on his feet, and take a deep breath and just move on. I can't do that, mostly because I have a half of a lung, and its hard to get back up when you keep falling down.

"Hazel Grace, I like the sound of that, it gives you a meaning, a ring it gives you..."

"Something to call me by? Pudge I have to get back to the hospital please just go,"

I diled my moms number to have her pick me up, and take me to the hospital, like always. But today was different, because, someone was there, no one is ever talked to make me feel like someone.