he just wants to be left alone once and for all,
but that doesn't seem to happen.
⇒ lower case intended
⇒ trigger warnings (violence, self harm, etc.)
⇒ side ship: jaeyong and more...?
started: 181215
ended: 190711
high rankings:
#9 → #5 in doil
#33...
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warning! mention of abusive behavior!
Taeil
what am i doing? what in the actual hell am i doing? this is not how i planned my night to go. i had everything figured out. i would jump off the bridge and no one would remember me. but no, here i am, in the passages seat of some random dude's car. i don't even know his name and i said yes to him taking me to his house.
"um... sorry i didn't ask before but, do you mind telling me your name? it's fine if you want to stay anonymous, i don't see why you would want to keep it a secret but i don't really know you so-" "taeil. my name is taeil. now please would you stop talking. we could talk all you want when we get there but for right now i just want some peace."
the rest of the ride was quiet. he kept his eyes on the road and i kept my eyes on the moon. the moon always seemed to follow everyone's move. watching and judging everyone's move. was the moon proud of what i almost did? or would it be ashamed of my own thoughts?
"taeil, taeil we're here." i felt the guy's hand on my shoulder. oh i don't even know his name. i looked over at him and nodded then looked over at his house. damn. what does he mean he has no family this house looks like it could fit a family of thirty. i nodded to myself and got out the car. he followed my actions and sped all the way to the door to open it for us.
"we could talk now or tomorrow if you want. i don't mind." tomorrow. i forgot that i agreed to spend the night. "let's talk now. i got a few things to talk about that i couldn't talk to anyone about." he nodded and motioned me to follow him. we walked to what i assumed to be the main room where the couches and television were. he sat down and patted the spot next to him. i ain't no dog i'll sit where i wanna sit. i sat a little farther than where he motioned me to sit.
"ok so i'm going to talk and you are going to keep quiet ok? i am going to rant so i don't want interruptions. i couldn't be bawling my eyes out but i will keep on talking and you will stay silent. got me?" he nodded, once again, and patted my thigh. i gulped then remembered i didn't even know his name. "before I start my hour long rant, i never got your name." "doyoung, my name is doyoung." what a nice name. sounds soft for a bunny looking man like him.
"i'm an only child. and with being an only child comes so much pressure. my parents always had these thoughts that i would be this perfect child with straight As in school with a nice girlfriend. it wasn't the complete opposite cause i did pretty well in school. got As but some Bs here and there. also my interests never matched their expectations. they expected me to be interested in the law career path but i was interested more in art and design. i don't see why they didn't see it coming. ever since i was a child i always had a paint brush in hand and would make some sort of mess with paint everywhere i went. also, not to make you uncomfortable or anything but, i'm gay. and when i came out to them i thought they would have been supportive but that's when all hell broke loose. it first started with name calling. words like fag would roll off their tongue when they wanted to call for me. that's when i started to get emotionally unstable. my friends ended up finding out and started bullying me. i came home with bruises and my parents didn't even bother asking why i had them. apart from being beat in school, my parents started as well. i was never safe anymore. wake up, go to school, get beat up, go home, study, and get beat again by my parents. they went overboard yesterday. that's why i was planning on doing what i almost did today." a few tears left my eyes but i didn't allow more to fall. as sad as my story is i didn't want his pity. i didn't want anyone's pity.
i motioned that he could now finally talk but surprisingly he didn't start talking. i looked up at him and he was staring down at his hands. i could smell his pity. "i know what you are thinking and i don't want your pity. pity won't make me feel better it'll make me feel worse for making you feel bad. now just say something."
he nodded and patted the spot next to him so i could sit right next to him. i scoot over to the spot and he took this chance to embrace my small figure.
"you are so strong taeil. i've never met anyone stronger than you."
huh?
〜
back at it again with an update! i love leaving chapters on cliffhangers for y'all to anticipate and be at the edge of your seats.
