left for sorrow (Shawn Mendes)

15

"Luke" I say shaking him as he sleeps on his bed his hair ruffeld in every direction his lips slightly parted as his right cheek is pressed agsint the pillow "wake up" I whisper

"Mmm" he groans moving in his bed

"Luke" I slap him hard against his shoulder,and he sprints up.

"What? what? are you okay?" he asks looking at his surroundings.

"Yeah.I just can't sleep Ive been tryig to wake you up for like ten minutes" i get a soft tired chuckle from him

"Ive was so tired" I frown knowing hes beyond tired because hes been up every night with me he seems to notice and adds " come here"  patting the side of his bed.

But I look at Sam who's snoring like a mad man "how can you?" I wanna lighten up the mood as i sit next to him

He laughs "i'm a heavy sleeper cant you tell?what do you wanna do then?" he ask yawning.

"Let's have a picnic" I randomly say laughing to myself "wow im delirious at this time or maybe im just crazy what do you think" i giggle to myself 

"I think It's a little late for that but sure" he shrugs getting up taking me by surpise

"what"

"you want to have a picnic and well the only way im gonna stay up any longer is if I do something so cmon" i sit there staring at this man wearing shorts and a blue tank top in  admiration "sweetie pie you coming?" he teases and my heart leaps. We tip toe our way down the stairs,and into the kitchen.

"So tell me what woke sleeping beuty from her sleep?" he asks opening the fridge"is a sandwich okay?"

"Yup"I say sitting on the island stool "and I just struggle with sleeping a lot ever since an accident occured in my family" even though luke stays up with me everynight talking and all Ive never really opened up to him yet i guess the topic hasnt occured im kind of glad it hasnt 

"Oh that must suck." he doesnt persue much "How are you so awake during the day?" he ask in a joking way

"My body has just adjusted I guess"I say as he places all the ingredients on the counter,and then grabs the bread from the pantry,and begins making a ham and cheese sandwich.

"Are you still taking your pills?" he asks placing the lettuce on the now half done sandwich.I can tell he genuinly wants to know but doesnt want to push it too much with the questions he never ask me questions about my personal life and i am grateful for that but now that he is I feel like i owe it to him since hes been so patient

"No... well rarely.ever since youve been staying up with me I havent had them but dont tell lucy or ben"I whipser the last part a laugh escaping lukes lips and i join only to stop when I hear a noise coming outside the kitchen i look at luke who shrugs

"everyones knocked out it was probably outside" he casually says "but anyways that's good im glading Ive been of good use.Too many pills arent good you can get addicted" concern takes over his voice causing me to smile as he continues to prepare our last minute picnic 

"Yeah thank god those pills haven't gotten me addicted though"I comment as he finishes up

"Walla" he says showing me the now done sandwiches.

"You should be a chef" I giggle as he places them in a ziploc bag,and grabs two water bottles from the fridge.

"Lets go my lady" its so cute when he calls me cute names I havent seen this side of him he must be really tired.we walk past the living room where I grab two blankets,and we head out to the door, open it,and walk down the porch luke grabs his guitar thats laying against a chair and we begin making our way to the beach the only light coming from the moon,and a little post stamp giving enough light to see where we are going. Finding a spot,I place the blanket against the sand,and we sit down a hot summer breeze occasionally hitting us.

"Thank you"I say while Luke hands me the sandwich.I begin eating it I will admit im fighting my anxiety very hard its like an inner battle i dont want to over think i want to enjoy this moment but its harder than i thought.its not safe being out here in the open at night "not bad not bad"I force myself to take a bite as my appetite slowly disappears but I continue to munch on the sandwich.

"You're so pretty" luke random words catch me off guard and i feel my cheeks heat up thank god he cant see how red they must be.I grab a strand of hair away from my face,and smile.

"Thanks,and you're so cute"I add moving forward to kiss his cheek but he purposely moves causing me to kiss his lips.I giggle as we kiss.

"You're sneaky"I say finishing my sandwich, and chugging it down with water.

"Come here" Luke lays on the blanket.I push the bottles away,and lay down next to him placing my head on his chest the sound of the water moving filling my ears, the smell of salt and beach filling my nostrils.I grab the other blanket,and covers us.I warm up as Luke wraps his arm around my shoulder,and make circles with his finger on my shoulder.I snuggle up against him feeling safe even though my body is dying to be inside locked doors.

"Luke?" I begin to say.

"Yes?"

"What's your story?" I ask I cant help but be as intrigued as he is about me I wish i knew everything about him but for that to happen Id have to play a fair game and have him know everything about me and im scared for that I dont want to get luke involved in my fucked up life I dont want him to think im crazy like everyone else does I wouldnt handle having him look at me that way.

"My story" he repeats.

"You don't have to tell me.I know it's not fair since you don't know mine" I tell him before we stay in silence for a bit,and I regret even asking "i'm sorry" I add snuggling closer to him loving the soft smell he has on.

"No no no don't be you're just curious just like I am to about you and " he sighs "and I think it's time I open up to someone besides Lucy,and Ben " he says,and I sit up to look at him.the moment ive been dying for really here i get to know why such a sweet boy is here