left for sorrow (Shawn Mendes)

7

I sit down on the chair with a blanket wrapped around my body,and I begin to look around.I will admit i'm nervous.I am scared,I don't like being out in the dark.Everyone else sits down in a circle talking, and laughing and I sit there staring at the floor trying to control my breath..relax emma it's just a campfire "hello" I hear Luke's voice interupting my thoughts.I  look up to see him sitting next to me.

"What?"I ask realizing after how harsh it came off as so i add a smile

"I said are you okay "

"Of course"I say clearing my throat.

"Alright guys so let's have a group discussion tell us hows this week has been going" Lucy says holding a ball "Jenna go first" she tosses the ball to her, and she catches it.

"It's been great this week i'm already used to this lifestyle.It is amazing,and I just want to address that I don't understand why Santana must always pick on me" she quickly says. She's a fast talker,and says what is on her mind for sure.

"What are you talking about nena" Santana says roasting a marshmallow "youre such a whiny puta"

"See? that's what i'm talking about. I looked up what puta said after she's been saying it this whole week,and turns out she has been calling me a bitch for no reason,and I am offended and would appreciate it if you would apologize and we continue as friends please" she says her back straight up her hands on her lap as if she is in a meeting. She's strange.

"Santana did Jenna do something to offend you? is that why you're being rude to her?" Lucy asks.

"This is what I call entertainment" Sam says making us chuckle.

"She's just always so preppy so happy like why is she even here if she is so happy all the time? aren't you supposed to be here if you are like depressed or have issues like cutting yourself?" Santana says and I notice Jenna shifts in her seat multiple times but her face unbothered or showing no emotion.

"Well not necessarily those.Everyone has different things going on in their life, it doesn't have to be obvious but Jenna deserves to be treated equally" Barbara adds.

"Let's admit it. Santana was born a bitch,and will die one" Chloe casually says making us laugh.

"Shut up Chloe at least I wasn't born a hoe,and will die one" Santana spits back making Chloe gasp getting up.

"Take It back you racist latina!" Chloe shouts.

"Im racist? No me gusta! Oh please you lowkey have a make america great again hat in your bag" Santana spits back casually with venom.

Chloe fake chuckles "and if I were racist you'd be the reason why" she says crossing her hands over her chest.

"Okay guys enough!" lucy shouts "kitchen now" she says,and they both walk away.

"We will be back" Barbara says as they both walk away awkward silence takes over.

"Okay that was great...lowkey turned me on" sam says with a huge smile plastered on his face

"Shut up Sam."I say giggling. My eyes then landing on Blaine whos scribbling something on his notebook like usual.He's so mysterious it's interesting. But then the fear comes back, and I begin to look everywhere every little sound startling me the sound of the trees swaying from the wind the sound of an owl howling causing me to jump a bit startled.Any little thing driving me crazy, i'm driving myself crazy unable to take it, I get up all eyes on me as soon as i do.I try controlling my breathing but I can't.I need to be inside with all the locked doors.

"I uhm" not knowing what to say,and embarrassed because I do this to myself.I walk towards the door but stop when Lucy,Barbara,Chloe and Santana walk out.

"Where are you going?" Lucy asks with a smile.

"I-I need to be inside please." I whisper in a begging way.

"Okay hun" she says letting me pass.I enter the house,and let out a deep breath that I was holding in.I rush to the kitchen,and place my hands on the counter as I try controlling my heavy breathing my head getting dizzy so I close my eyes but images of the news that my sister was found by a lake dead naked comes to my mind along with the pictures,and I feel the tears coming.

"He-" I jump when I feel a hand on my shoulder startled,I turn around with my eyes closed, the tears flowing out my body shaking.I feel the fit tall masculine body pull me their way,and hug me confused because I thought the worst, my eyes dart open,and I look up to see Luke. I relax,and let him hold me.

"What's your favorite food?" he randomly asks.

"Chinese food"I say still trying to control my breathing,and sobbing.

I feel him stroking my hair softly "purple or pink?"

"neither"I giggle "I prefer blue" still confused

"Me too. It reminds me of the ocean" he stays quiet and my heart begins to ache again " so would you like a vacation to the bahamas or hawaii?"

"Both" we chuckle, and I look up at him our faces so close to each other.I can see all his perfection better than ever. I smile noticing my panic attack left. I pull him in for the hug "thank you"

"Any time" he whispers in my ear. I can't help but smile because he's the first person to try to calm me down without quickly jumping to getting my pills without questioning whats going on?are you okay?which never helps but here as i stand held by lukes embrace i feel like i can breath for onceeven though it might not be permanently but I dont mind it if as soon as he lets go reality hits me im just gonna enjoy this right now enjoy the peace I feel when im with him