Forever (Rin Matsuoka X Reader)

Chapter Five: "The Only Girl I've Ever Lo..."

A/N: Possible trigger warning for sexual abuse. It's not graphic but read at your own risk. If anything in this chapter does bother you and you need someone to talk my inbox is always open.

       I can hear Rin's heart pound against his rib cage. He's always been taller than me and I guess he hit an even bigger growth spurt since we were last together. I feel his breath in his chest, his incredibly defined chest. My hands grip the back of his shirt and my knuckles touch the muscles on his back. In his arms, I feel home.
"Am I interrupting something?" A girls voice floats to my ears.
I jump back, but Rin keeps one hand on my wrist. I see the pink haired girl from Samezuka standing less than ten feet away from us along with some other girls. If looks could kill I'd have six fatal wounds right now.
"What are you doing here Rio?" His pointy teeth are visible with the scowl consuming his face.
"What do you mean? You promised we would go dancing sometime," Rio smiles sweetly.
"Yeah, when we were together, but we aren't anymore." There's a dangerous glint in his red eyes.
They broke up? I thought Rin wanted to talk to me to clear the air or something. Not to tell me he broke up with his girlfriend. Why did he want to talk with me alone?
       "Let me guess, you left me for whoever this is," she rolls her eyes and doesn't give me a second glance.
       Rin takes an intimidating step towards her. My turn to hold him back.
       "Her name is Y/N and she's the only girl I've ever lo...," his sentence hangs in the air.
       "Rin, let's just go." I lace my fingers with his and start walking.
Rio and her friends all start to laugh.
"Seems like you're good at running away," a girl with black pigtails snickers.
"We don't even know your name, but it's pretty obvious you can't stand up and fight for yourself," this comes from one of the girls with her hair piled on top of her head.
I rip my hand from Rin's and take off. I'm not even sure if I'm heading in the direction of the club. I make it two blocks before I realize there's a set of footsteps falling behind me.
"Y/N," Rin breathes. He's not gasping for air like I am.
"They're right," I say this more to myself than to him. "I'm always running away." My body suddenly feels heavy. I lower myself to the ground haphazardly. My hands grip the side of my head while my fingers dig into my scalp.
I quit swimming because of that older boy. I ran away from the water. I ran away from the only life I knew. I ran away from Rin. Twice. I ran from my friends and my family. No matter how far I run everything catches up. It always catches up.
       "Y/N." Lean, muscular arms wrap around me. "Don't listen to them. You don't have to prove anything to anyone. Not them. Not Haru. Not Mako. Certainly not me."
But what about myself?
       "Okay," I sniffle.
Just push it down.
      I look into his red irises and force my best smile. "I'm good."
His soft lips brush my cheek. "Let's go. The others are probably wondering where we went."
       He's right. The other guys that came with Rin and my whole group are waiting outside. It looks like they weren't sure which way to look so at least two people are watching one of four different directions. Haru and Nagisa spot us first.
       "There you are Y/N!" Nagisa jumps up in the air and waves his hand enthusiastically.
       Haruka scoffs when his gaze falls to Rin's hand in mine. "I'm gonna get GPS tracker if you keep pulling these disappearing acts, Houdini."
       "I'm sorry for making you guys worry so much." My E/C eyes fall the crack in the concrete.
       "Just try to let us know where you're going from now on," Mako says with apprehension.
       Everything calms down and we ultimately decide to go back to Iwatobi. Once we get on the train Rin takes me to secluded seats near the back of our car.
       "Do you want to talk about what happened back there?" He asks, still not letting go of my hand. "We don't have to if you don't want to."
       I can't bring myself to look into his eyes. "Not at the moment." That's a lot of baggage to unload and I'm not even sure where we stand at the moment. Sure things haven't necessarily been bad tonight, but things between us need time... I need time before I can even consider taking him down that road.
       He lets out a small sigh. "I know I'm the last person who should be saying this since the last time we talked we were in elementary school, but I'm always going to be here for you. From now on you can always talk to me, Y/N."
       Words can't express how much I've wanted to hear those words from him. All those years spent in Tokyo I didn't make any close friends. Every time I wanted to talk to someone I always wanted it to be him.
We reach Iwatobi Station and we all part ways. Rin sends his friends with Gou, choosing to walk me home.
"So you're managing the Iwatobi team," he says awkwardly.
I let out a small laugh. "Yes I am, but you already knew that. What do you really want to talk about Rin?" I try my best not to sound like I'm interrogating him.
"You. Me. The possibility of us," his last statement is barely a whisper but it's enough to stop time.
I stop walking. "Us?"
He stands in front of me, taking both my hands in his. His eyes lock onto mine. "Look Y/N, I've... I..." He looks at a loss for words.
"Rin," I start to say, but he cuts me off.
"I've loved you since we were kids, Y/N! There hasn't been a day that's gone by that I didn't want to talk to you."
It's my turn to cut him off. "Then why didn't you!? I waited to hear from you. I wrote you a letter and I never got a reply! Rin I waited. I checked the mail every day and then one day I just stopped. Even still, I never gave up!"
We had just moved to Tokyo. I came home from my first day at my new prep school. I sat at my desk and started writing a letter:
Rin,
I started at Tokyo Junior Prep Academy today. No one really talked to me. It's nothing like Iwatobi Elementary. I thought I saw Haru today but just ended up embarrassing myself. I know none of you are here. I hope everything is good in Australia. I can't wait to hear about everything! I miss you already.
Y/N

Every day for the next month I ran home from school and from swim practice to check the mailbox. Every time there was no letter from Rin.
       A week after I stopped checking the mail people both at school and the swim club noticed that I wasn't as happy. One of the older boys in the swim club started to talk to me. He was like an older brother. He started to walk me home from practice. He would help me with homework. On nights that my mom worked late, he would stay and help make dinner.
One night we stayed late at the swim club. We both got out of the pool to go change. He followed me into the girl's locker room... He tried to touch me... His hand covered my mouth... I bit down and took off.
Nothing happened. I was able to run out and into the lobby. He walked out of the boy's locker room a few minutes later acting like nothing happened. He still walked me home that night.
The next day at practice he was watching me swim. The thoughts of what might have happened swam with me. It felt like bags of sand were tied around my ankle and wrists. An anchor attached to my belly button. I couldn't move. I didn't want to move. I just wanted the thoughts to stop...
"Y/N!" Rin's hands are on my shoulders as he shakes me back to the present. "Are you okay? You checked out and started crying."
My whole body is shaking as my fingers reach up and touch my wet face. "I'm okay." No, I'm not. "Don't touch me." Please hold me.
Thankfully he can read between the lines and pulls me towards him. "Come on. Get on my back. I'm gonna carry you home."
I don't have the mental or physical strength to argue. I do as I'm told and he secures my legs between his torso and his arms. I nuzzle my head into the crook of his neck and breathe him in. He smells faintly of chlorine and pine needles mixed with musk.
I tell him where to go and let my eyes drift closed to the rhythm of his steps.

A/N: I'm sooooo sorry this took a while to get out. I've been sick and hit a slight roadblock. I hope you enjoy!!