The Revenant

Second Thoughts.

NOVA

I woke up to a weight on my chest. I didn't know what it was. I just knew it was heavy. And waking up to it was a pain.

I opened my eye's to see Elena's head resting on my chest. She was fast asleep...she was also naked.

Why...was she naked?

Her breasts were pressing against my rib cage...

Her head was on my chest...

She had no clothes on...

I had no clothes on...

In that instance of questioning everything came flooding back. The rush,the tension...

It dawned on me, and it was scarier than I imagined. My breathing quickened, to the point where I was near hyperventilation.

Oh fuck...Elena and I... Elena and I had sex...

Yes we did.

We had sex.

Yes,we had sex.

Actual sex!

Everything was so vividly clear in my head it was almost as if I was reliving what we had done. I remembered everything.

I shot up to a sitting position,my breathing quickened,my heart raced in my chest. So many questions ran through my mind,but I had no answer to any of them.

Was I even good?

Was I...big enough?

What if I was bad? Did I really screw up my first fucking time?

"Nova?"

I felt her hands against my chest as she massaged my body. Her breasts pressed against my back, and if she could see how red my face was,she probably would have laughed.

"H-hey..." I said. I swallowed some saliva which had been trapped in my mouth for the longest time.

"Hi" she said. I felt her forehead rest against my back.

Sweat trickled down my spine and once more,I found it hard to do anything nor did I have any idea as to what I should say.

Elena's weight left my back and her hands slowly began to pull me backward. I was soon looking up at her,my head resting in her lap.

"Hi"

Elena giggled and ran her fingers through my hair.  "Nova you already said hi to me."

"I'm sorry."

"There's no need to be sorry silly."

"I...I.."

Those magnificent green eye's of hers...I could stare into them for a lifetime and never get tired of it.

"Don't say you're sorry again Nova."

"No I...was I...you know..."

"Were you what?"

"Was I...bad? Was I not good enough? Or... Big enough?"

The smile faded from Elena's face. Before I knew it her lips were planted on mine again. The kiss felt a bit awkward given how she was sitting,but that did little to change how amazing it was overall.

"Nova,I already told you, you were incredible. I wouldn't say that to you if I didn't mean it."

"I...I don't-"

"Stop being so nervous Nova."

"I can't! Okay?! I...can't calm down..."

Her hand was smooth against my cheek.

"Nova...was I not good?"

"No...no you were incredible."

"Then what is wrong? Tell me Nova please. You've been hiding so much from me. Just tell me whats wrong. I won't judge you."

A silence ensued.

I need to ask her...I need to know why...

"Why me?"

Elena sighed before she leaned down and kissed my forehead. "Nova a better question is  why not?"

"I'm no one special Elena. Yeah,I'm a fucking commander,boo hoo. But that's it. I'm no one. Compared to someone like you why would you even love me at all? Why would you even care? Look at me. I'm not-"

In one quick movement Elena flung her entire body around, straddling me before she leaned down and planted a soft kiss against my lips.

"Nova, you're wrong. You're  so much more than that."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are! Nova you're eighteen and you're the commander of the most elite military force on the face of the earth, you joined when you were only seven years of age, worked hard and rocketed through the rankings. You've mastered twenty seven different fighting techniques,have your own unique fighting style, you are incredible,Nova..."

Elena planted a kiss on my forehead,smiling from ear to ear. "You don't realise how incredible you are. You don't understand how much of an amazing person you are. You definitely have your flaws, but don't we all? Most importantly,you've always been there for me Nova. I cannot even begin to tell you how thankful I am for that. You're amazing,you might not be amazing  to everyone else but you are to me."

"I..."

Elena giggled and rolled her eye's,leaning down and kissing me again,the weight of her chest was almost crushing me but I didn't mind. In the moment I barely noticed.

"Nova you're too hard on yourself."

"I could tell you...what happened in the caverns-"

"Nova its fine. We'll take things slow alright? You'll tell me,but only once you're ready."

"Okay..."

"We'll take things one step at a time,there isn't a need to rush things."

Elena rested her head on my chest,planting small kisses against it. A smirk slowly formed on her face and she bit her lip slightly.

"At least I know you're a bottom. Never expected you to be a sub Nova."

"You thought I'd be on top?"

"That's usually how it played out in my fantasies. With you on top...but now that we've actually...you know...done it? I kinda like being on top...it's fun to see you helpless beneath me."

Elena traced her index finger along my chest. "I won't lie...it hurt for a bit. But after a while it got really, really good. You were great Nova."

"You said you...practised..."

"I did. With your pillow. Plenty of times I'd just change your casings once I was done."

"How are you saying this so...casually? Usually you're shy around me..."

"Now its the other way around," She said with a giggle. "I don't really know,I feel a lot more comfortable around you now Nova. There's a certain sense of honesty and freedom of expression now that we've actually done each other." 

"I guess..."

Elena kissed me once again,her lips were soft,succulent, I enjoyed every second of it.

But no matter how much she assured me of it. The question remained on my mind of why did she care so much? Why did she give me her body,her soul? Bond with me on a level far greater than that of an emotional bond? What did she love about me? Exactly?

Why would she love someone like me?

Perhaps the biggest question I could ask, would it all come crashing down if she realised that the person she cared so much about wasn't even human?

Should I tell her about what I was? My past? Risk the chance of her hating me?

Only time would tell...