Holding back

Words hurt

"German, hey where have you been?" Angie greeted me as I walked through the door. I put my keys down and mumbled "business stuff" before disappearing into the kitchen.

"Well..." She said as she followed me into the kitchen "Vilu is at the cinemas with Leon, she said she text you but you didn't reply, so I told her I'd let you know." She replied completely oblivious to that fact I was mad at her.

"My phone was off." I replied. I open the cupboard and got myself a mug out before slamming it shut.

"German, is something wrong?" She asked.

I slammed the cup down and turn to face her. "I don't know Angie, why don't you tell me?"

She stood up straight and looked at me with a confused look. "I... Don't understand." She said.

"Yeah, well, let me know when you do." I snapped. I decided I was no longer in the mood for a coffee and stormed out the kitchen. I didn't get very far though as Angie was hanging onto the end of my shirt.

"German wait!"

I spun around to face Angie and she held on to my arms tightly. "German..." She started.

"I thought you were changing." I blurted out.

"Changing? You want me to change?" She asked. "I'm sorry German but I can't change who I am." She snapped.

"Angie..." I said in a soft tone. "Angie come one, you know I didn't mean that. I meant that I thought you were becoming your old self again."

Angie let go of me and stared down at the floor. She made her way to kitchen side and looked out the window.

"You don't understand. In fact, I don't understand. What's this all about? I thought we were alright. I thought... Oh what's the point." she said with her back to me.

"Well help me understand." I pleaded. I walked over to where she was standing. "I think you know what I'm talking about." I added.

"There's no point, German. There's no point." She cried. "And no, I have no idea what you mean and if you're not going to tell me, I'm not going to stand here and listen to this."

I stood and watched her walk away. how did this happen? I never mentioned that I knew she was lying about her job at the studio and we still ended up fighting.

What did she mean by "there's no point?" There's no point in telling me what's wrong? Why not? Does she think that I don't care? I'm increasingly starting to worry about Angie. I don't know what to do anymore.

I sat in my office for over an hour trying to figure out what to say to Angie. It never used to be like this, conversations used to be so easy with Angie. I couldn't concentrate on my work, the words seemed all jumbled on the page. My mind just kept on wondering back to Angie, no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get her out of my head.

I thought over what I wanted to say one more time before making my way to Angie's room.

I knocked several times before Angie appeared on the other side of the door.

"If you've come to see if I've changed, you'll be very disappointed because I'm still the same old me!" she snapped.

I didn't blame her for being mad, but honestly, I never meant it like that!

"Angie, please I didn't mean that." I said sadly. She looked at me like she knew I didn't mean that.

"I know," she sighed. "I was just mad at you." She admitted.

She stepped outside her bedroom door and stood with her back against the wall. "German, what was all that about? Why are you mad at me?"

"I'm not mad, I'm disappointed." I said sadly.

"German, please. Just tell me what I've done wrong."

"You lied to me Angie. You lied. I hate lies, you know that."

She looked at me like she had no idea what I was saying, pushing herself further back against the wall.

"You're not returning to the studio at all, are you?" I asked.

Within seconds her facial expression dropped. "German, I can explain." She whispered.

"No. I don't want to hear it, Angie. What excuse could you possibly have for lying about returning to the studio? Angie, if you didn't want to return, then you should've just said. There was no need to lie." I said. I was trying to remain calm, but deep down, I was mad.

"German..." She started.

"No. No. Don't. Just... Don't. I can't believe you lied. And what, did you think you would get away with this? Huh?" I interrogated. I wanted to know if she'd actually thought all this through.

She slowly slid down the wall until she was slumped against it. She put her head in her hands before saying "I don't know what I was thinking, alright? I thought if you thought I'd gone back to work then you'd just leave me alone!"

"So is that what you want?" I asked sounding hurt. "You want me to leave you alone?"

I waited several seconds for her to reply, but she didn't. She didn't even look at me.

"Fine." I snapped. I left her sat there and went back to my office. If she wants me to leave her alone, I will.