Holding back

"It's all in the kiss"

I sat in my office just scratching my head. I couldn't get this maths to add up? I never was any good at maths, I would leave it all to Ramallo. I would call him to help, but he's probably got his hands full with Olga. She's in crazy wedding planning mode and Ramallo has been dragged into it. Well of course he has. It's his wedding! But honestly, I never planned my wedding to Jade or Esmerelda. Maybe it was just because my heart wasn't really in it? I mean, deep down, deep down I knew that. I was just too afraid to be alone, I guess. Too much of a coward?

I slammed my papers down in furstration. Since when did my job become so hard? I usually love my job. I love what I do. I was thinking of calling Angie, she has helped me with my work a lot recently, it's been great. But I remembered, she was out. She said she was going to her mothers. She's been spending a lot of time there recently. I'd say she's been increasingly happy since she started visiting so regularly.

I looked in my draw for the calculator, when my hand stumbled upon the invitation from Pablo. I'd completely forgotten! I still hadn't spoken to Angie about this. I don't see why her going will be a problem, she's been making a lot of progress recently.

I decided to take a dinner break. I left my invitation on my desk and made my way to the kitchen. I made my sandwich and decided I'd like a coffee to go with it.

"Stupid coffee machine. Why won't you just make me a coffee?" I sighed to myself, smashing it with my hand repeatedly. I don't understand why even brought this, I don't know how to use it!

"Woah, woah, woah, German. Are you trying to make a coffee or break the machine?" I heard someone laugh behind me.

"Angie!" I laughed, "I didn't hear you come in." I replied, spinning around to face her.

"That's probably because you've been making so much noise with the coffee machine! You don't have to hit it to get it to work!" She said as she shook her head.

I turned back to face the machine and tried to prove that I knew how to use it.

"German, move aside." Laughed Angie. She stood beside me and messed with the coffee machine. I don't have a clue what she was did, but it worked. It was working.

"How did you... How did you get that to... I mean, what?" I said as I scratched my head.

"German, relax. It's just a coffee machine." She replied as she got herself a mug out of the cupboard.

"You want a coffee, too?" I asked.

"Yes please!" She smiled.

Just then my phone started to ring from my office.

"You know what, I'll make the coffee, you get your phone." She laughed.

"No, no! You can fetch me my phone while I make the coffee!" I was determined to do it.

She left the kitchen and I could still here her laughing, she had a beautiful laugh. Like Maria's. Like Vilu's. Beautiful.

"It's Pablo." She said, suddenly sounding cold as she reappeared in the kitchen with the phone in her hand. "He wants to know if you've persuaded me to come his party yet." She said as she hung up the phone call.

"Angie, I can explain, I-"

"Save it, German. It's clear that you and Pablo have been talking about me. What do you do? Meet up once a week to discuss my behaviour?!" She shouted.

She was wrong. It wasn't like that.

"Angie, listen, it's not like that at all!" I tried to explain.

"I have to go, German. I have somewhere to be." She said calmly, before turning around and leaving the house.

"Angie!" I shouted after her, but it was too late, she didn't hear me.

I sat to the table in the kitchen and started to think. Did Pablo know Angie answered the phone instead of me? is that why he said something? No, no, that can't be right. Pablo would know that Angie would get mad at him and not want to come to the party at all. She must've just answered the phone without saying anything and of course Pablo would've assumed it was me.

By the time I'd done thinking, the coffee that took me so long to make had gone cold and I hadn't even taken a sip.

"Typical." I murmured.

"Are you talking to yourself?" Laughed Vilu who appeared before me, from the direction of the back door.

I didn't say anything, I just gave her a stern look. I wasn't in the mood for jokes.

"What's up?" she asked as she sat across from me.

"I did something stupid... and it involves Angie." I said. I was starting to realise that maybe going behind Angie back the way that I did probably wasn't a good idea.

"Spill." She demanded as she crossed her arms.

I explained all about what happened at Pablo's and the phone call Angie answered. "and now she won't talk to me..." I added sadly.

"Look, dad. I don't blame you for turning to Pablo for answers. She had been rather distant and you were just looking out for her. You only spoke to Pablo once, right?"

I nodded.

"Right. but Angie thinks you and Pablo talk about her all the time?"

I nodded again.

"Then explain to her the truth. if she sees it the way I see it, she'll know you were just caring for her."

"She doesn't want to talk to me." I replied.

"Make her talk to you. Make a big gesture, girls love that. she will have to stay and listen then."

I started to listen to what Vilu was saying and it sounded like she was trying to get me to ask Angie out on a date without me actually realising. But then again, I was probably just being stupid. She's right, I need to get Angie to listen to me. Besides, a date with Angie wouldn't be so bad...

"Thanks Vilu." I eventually said. She smiled at me before getting up to leave the room.

"Can I ask you a question?" she said as she quickly turned to face me.

"What is it, Violetta?"

"Why do you care so much about Angie not wanting to speak to you?" She said quickly.

"What do you mean?" Of course I'd care if Angie wasn't talking to me, right?

"Well it's just, when you were dating Esmerelda, before Angie left for France, there were lots of times you were not speaking to Angie and it didn't seem to bother you. Why is it bothering you so much now? Do you like her?" Questioned Violetta. And I must say, she made a great point. Before Angie left me would argue all the time, maybe that's why this is bothering me so much. I don't want us to end up like that again.

I repeated the end of Vilu's question in my head 'do you like her?'

Then it hit me. Maybe I did like her. Maybe I loved her. But how could I be sure? I gestured back at Vilu for her to sit back down, she did. She sat waiting intently. Waiting for the answer to her question.

"Vilu... I... I don't know how I feel... Of course I love her, she's Angie. But am I in love with her?" I questioned, like she was going to know the answer. "Loving someone and being in love with someone, in my opinion, are two different things."

"Kiss her." She replied almost instantly.

"What do you mean?" I questioned.

"Kiss her. Then you'll know. It's all in the kiss." She said. Before I could argue with this, she left the table and ran upstairs, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I wanted to question how Vilu knew about love and kissing, but then I thought, actually, I probably didn't want to know. But maybe she was right. Maybe it's all in the kiss. Maybe I need to kiss Angie...