Holding back

A book

I sat reading a book to myself in the colossal empty house. It was so silent, you could hear a pin drop. It was hard to adjust to. The house used to be full of people coming and going. Ramallo,Olga, Angie, Jade, Matias, Esmerelda. But now Olga and Ramallo have retire, Angie isn't herself, and Jade, Matias, and Esmerelda? Well I haven't heard from either of them since the wedding to my relief.

I sat flicking through the book, not really paying attention to the words on the page, they were just black blobs on the crisped white paper. I wasn't usually like that though, usually I'd love to just sit in silence and read a book. But my mind was wondering all the time, and each time it lead me back to the same person, Angie. I couldn't get over the sadness in her eyes when she sat so awkwardly in her chair ignoring the world around her.

I have thought many times about asking her to go somewhere with me, just to cheer her up. But she never seems to look interested in leaving the house, so I never bother.

"What are you reading?" I heard a quiet voice from behind the book.

I slowly put the book down to see her standing in front of me, those same big sad eyes beaming at me.

"Oh, just something I found on the bookshelf, must have been something Ramallo left behind." I rambled awkwardly. I never heard her come home.

Was I actually having a conversation with Angie? I felt so out of practice.

"Oh." She whispered. "Mind if I take a look?" She asked. It was the first time she'd taken an interest in anything and I thought we were finally getting somewhere.

"Oh course not." I said as I passed it her.

"Thank you," she said. She sat on the chair across from me and inspected every bit of the book. The blurb, the spine, the title, the context page, the chapters, everything. I sat intently as she did so. I finally felt tranquil around her and I liked it.

"It used to be his favourite." She whispered as she stroked the front page slowly.

"It used to be who's favourite?" I aksed. I don't know why but I felt this jealously feeling in the pit of my stomach when she mentioned another man.

All of a sudden she became alert again, snapping out of this trance she was in whilst staring at the book.

"Just...my fathers. Yeah, it was my fathers favourite."

I thought I could see a tear glistening in the corner of her right eye, but I couldn't tell.

"Can I keep this?" She aksed.

"Of course." I smiled.

She picked up the book and slowly walked to the stairs, "and I'm sorry about the way I reacted early. I shouldn't take it out on you."

"It's okay." I smiled. "Take what out on me?" I asked. She just looked at me with her sorrowful eyes and shook her head.

"Goodnight German." She whispered before running upstairs and locking herself away from the rest of the world, just like she did every night. But I wasn't giving up on her, not now.