Ghosts in the Pumpkin Soup

Chapter 13: Kuebiko

Rain brought out the worst in underfolk. Mist bled from the very foundations of Harvest Hill. The moon wept, its tears pounded the earth relentlessly. Any underfolk still outside were either on their way indoors, underground, or were up to something more sinister. Pyney was a good long way from the shithole, the nickname she so lovingly gave her home. She knew what the rain wrought and hurried along the muddy road. Three shambling figures swayed through the thickness of rain and mist, following her scent. Pyney cursed at herself, she should have listened to Corvus when he said he had a bad feeling about this wake, and his gut was usually right. But Pyney desperately needed booger grass for the Joe Juice she was brewing at home. Desperate times called for desperate measures.

Pyney flipped up her hood and made a sharp turn into Shinbone Alley in between The Anal Prolapse and Bernie's Beanery. This alley was dubbed "Shinbone Alley" for the enigmatic skeleton who pilfered shinbones and gave them to needy skeleton orphans. Good thing that skeleton was long gone. Or was that another skeleton she was thinking of? They all looked the same to her, even if most of them would argue otherwise. She shook her head and cleared her mind; this wasn't a time to be lost in thought. To her dismay, a rather large wall presented itself.

Shit.

This wasn't Shinbone Alley. It was Shindig Alley. A heavy pressure took her shoulder, and she was pinned against the wooden exterior of The Anal Prolapse. Three massive figures towered over Pyney, their sickly breath washed over her. There was no mistaking that rancid stench.

Ghouls.

Pyney loathed ghouls to her very core, always eating you out of house and home and flesh. Luckily for her, these ghouls were overconfident. The ghoul pinning her loosened his grip as he prepared to take a bite out of her neck. She prepared herself to twist around and slice the ghoul's neck with her hidden blade, but there was a sudden whistling in the air, followed by a meaty thud and a twisted crunch. The pressure on her shoulder vanished, and she flipped herself around. The ghoul that pinned her had been flattened like a pancake. A Power Ranger wannabe stood in its place. The two remaining ghouls stared at the pulp.

"What the fuck?!" One of the ghouls deemed appropriate to exclaim.

"Justice!" The Power Ranger wannabe struck a flamboyant pose before slamming the other ghoul's head into the wall until it was a soup-like substance. The third ghoul was already fleeing before he could witness his brother's brutal demise. The earth slipped out from under him, and the roads of Harvest Hill vanished from his sight. Cursing incessantly and flailing as hard as he could, the ghoul was lifted from the mud and slammed against the alley wall.

Justice placed his face uncomfortably close to the ghoul's melted face and whispered. "Let me tell you a little something about justice." Justice kneed him in the groin so hard his skeleton flew out of his mouth (which would later be donated to the skeleton orphanage). "WAJAM! Justice!" The Power Ranger wannabe bellowed with a triumphant arm to the sky. "No need to thank me, ma'am!" Pyney flicked her foot into his crotch and ran off as fast as her green feet could take her. A sharp pain erupted in Justice's groin and, with great effort, squeezed out the words: "For... great justice!" before toppling over. A hell of a time to drop your aura.

"Why are you acting like a super hero?" The shadow of his master materialized through the darkness of the alley.

"She was in trouble—"

"You have your mission. Cease this nonsense."

"But these people need me. They need justice!"

"Either do what I say, or I decommission you."

Justice picked himself off from the ground but kept his eyes to his feet.