Your Brothers Best Friend

Part 5

One day you were at home watching TV when Luke walked in, "Hey Luke" you said as you watched him walk in "hey sis" He said back, he walking inside and you saw someone follow behind him, it was Calum.

You and Calum hadn't spoken since he broke up with you over the phone, you didn't know what to do, you just sat there without saying a word. "uh hey y/n " He said scratching the back of his head. You just half smiled to him then turned to the TV.

You still had butterflies in your stomach when you saw him, you didn't know how to control your feelings after the break up, you didn't want it but he clearly moved on.

You both hadn't spoken about the break up since, there was an awkward tension in the room, Luke left for a second to go upstairs and grab something, Calum was left in the same room as you, he awkwardly moved to the other end of the couch near you and you knew you had to say something.

"What are you doing here"? You said trying not to sound bitchy, Calum rubbed his hands against his thighs, "I um, we're-" "were going to get our suits for formal." Luke interrupted as he came down the stairs. You were heart broken once again, you forgot about formal and that Calum had originally asked you to go with him, you guesses that was now out of the question.

"Oh Okay" Calum lightly titled his head up to you as he heard the slight disappointment in your voice, looking into your eyes for a second then not being able to look at your heartbroken eyes and looking down to the floor.

"Who are you going with Luke"? You asked. "I'm going with Sarah and Calums gong with Jess." He replied. Jess was one of those girls that was at the café the other day when you and Luke ran into Calum and a few of his friends.

"Okay cool well have fun". You said as you sat back down on the couch and turned back to the TV.

The boys left and you turned the TV back off and buried your face in your hands, it was so hard for you to see Calum let alone to know he was going to prom with someone else.

You didn't cry you were just disappointed with yourself that you let yourself fall in love with someone you cant have.

Your phone buzzed and a message had popped up, it was from Calum. "Can we please talk later tonight? Can I come past your place?" This was finally going to be the talk that you both had to have but have been avoiding but you knew it was time, you replied back "sure"

Later that night you waited up in your room for Calum would text you, you were anxiously waiting thinking about everything you would say, practicing how you would tell him you never want to see him again, how you would tell that you were finally done with lying to Luke, a million thoughts running thoughts running through you mind that were interrupted by your phone vibrating, a new message from Calum, "I'm outside". You looked down to your screen then threw on a jacket and walked outside to the back gate and walking around to the front of the house.

You see Calum standing there with his hands in his pockets facing the front door, "Calum..." you said bringing his attention to you now. "Uh hi..." Was all he said

You both walked over to the side fence and sat up against the concrete wall surrounded by plants.

It was quiet for a while, you looked at Calum who had his elbows leaning on his thighs and playing with his fingers. You couldn't stand it, you hated that one person could make you feel so many ways, you hated that you could be so close to the person you love and yet feel so far from them.

"I cant do this". You said standing up and pacing around your front yard. "What?" Calum raised his head. "I cant do this Calum, I can't pretend anymore, you fucking hurt me, you broke up with me over the phone, why did you have to do that?! Couldn't you be a normal human being and say it to my face, I hate you for doing that to me." You stood there mad with your fist clenched by your side.

"Well I didn't know how to do it, I couldn't do it in front of you because you're always with Luke and I didn't want to do it hiding at school because I would have felt like shit." Calum said. "Well now I feel like shit and I don't know how to stop feeling like shit". You replied

"Well I'm sorry but its already down, what do you want me to do" He said. "I want you to pretend like we never had anything, like we were never together and we never will be okay?" You said to Calum. "Y/n you know I cant do that?" "Why! Why not? You could break up with me but you cant pretend we were never together, that's bullshit and you know it" You said. "I that really what you want?! Do you really want to forget each other and pretend like we never knew each other and o our separate ways forever?" Calum said with his voice raised and a bit louder, you were taken back a bit but his words definitely sunk in and made you realise you don't want to lose Calum but you weren't sure if you could be with him either.

"It's not that easy." Was all you said.

"What is it? Do you want me or not!" he yelled this time.

" I hate you because I still love you and hate myself even more for it!." You yelled

Calum dropped his head so he was now looking to the floor kicking the dirt slightly, his tone more calm, "well then tell me what you want, tell me you want me and ill stay, ill never leave you, ill be there for you, I wont go to formal with Jess ill go with you I just need you to say it and ill stay" Calum said.

Calum now standing right in front of you, the expression on his face seemed like he was giving you his all and that he wanted you but he knew it was going to difficult but he loves you and you made him feel like he was loved an dno one ever felt this way about him before and he was desperate for love, he didn't want to lose you but he didn't want to hurt you either and by being together or being apart its like either way you couldn't win.

You looked up at Calum with tears in your eyes and love in your heart but you knew in your head that this wouldn't work and in the end someone was gong to get hurt.

You looked back down at your feet "I don't want you Calum."

It was silent for a second then Calum grabbed your face with his hand and moved your face in his direction, "look me in the eyes and tell me." You looked up at his eyes that looked hurt and defeated, "tell me please y/n " He said holding back tears.

You paced your hands over his that were gently grasping onto your face, " I'm sorry Calum but I just cant do this anymore." You said tearing up more. Calulm moved his hands away from you to his face wiping his tears. " I hope you're happy with your decision." He said stern. "Calum..." "No, y/n, this is what you wanted don't forget that, I'm going to forget that, I'm going to prom with Jess and I'm going to forget we were ever anything, don't worry I wont be able to hurt you anymore now, goodbye y/n." He said walking out the front gate of your house, you watched as he left no words able to leave your mouth at this point, all you could do was cry.

You couldn't say anything because this is what you asked for but you knew it wasn't true, you wanted Calum more than anything and you just lost the only person in your life that you would've given everything to be with all because you didn't want to hurt your brother, you then realised how selfish you were being, you put Calum through that and yourself when you both knew you wanted each other and you both would've done whatever you could to make it work but because you were being selfish you threw that all away, you had no one else to blame but yourself.