The Cat's Short Stories - A Collection of Contest Entries

Eyes Forever Closed (Springito's So You Think You Can Write?)

I guess I don't really need to explain what I'm doing here. I've done it enough already :P

This is a bit darker than I originally thought it would be, but hey - inspiration can surprise you when you least expect it.

Um, yeah:

     It's my fault.

     The words will not stop running through Nathan's thoughts. They replay like a broken record, over and over again until they just seem like a distant buzzing in the back of his mind. Almost as if they will never go away, will stay with him for the rest of his life.

     Nathan wonders if he will ever be relieved of the guilt he feels now. He wonders if he will ever be able to forgive himself for what happened. What about Sarah's parents? Will they forgive him? How will it be possible to move on when everything around him is a reminder of that?

     It's my fault.

     Nothing was supposed to happen that day. Nathan should have returned Sarah safely home, and then they could have both gone on with their lives. Maybe that's why it happened - Nathan's task was so simple that something huge was bound to happen. The idea seems ridiculous, but for some reason he keeps thinking that it's true. 

     At this point, though, it doesn't really matter anymore. Nathan can't change what happened, no matter how much he wants to, no matter how much it breaks his heart. And he can't change that fact that he caused it.

     He remembers every moment of it exactly. He pictures Sarah's golden blond hair, whipping behind her in a tangled frenzy. Her laugh, bright and lively, rings in his ears, as does the roar of the car engine. In his head, he can see the curvy, uneven road, the bright yellow line cutting it in half, the occaisional potholes dotting the pavement.

     Although Nathan doesn't want to go through it again, his imagination takes over and the brand-new memories flood his mind.

                                                                         ~

     The sun was bright as Nathan slowly drove down the country road toward Sarah's house. Some top-forty song was blasting on the radio, and Sarah, sitting in the passenger seat, sang loudly to the tune. In Nathan's blue convertible, her voice was almost lost to the wind. Regardless, Nathan laughed as he saw her throw her head back out of the corner of his eye, and he couldn't help but sing along as well. Even if he did happen to be tone deaf.

     That seemed to amuse Sarah, his pitiful attempt at singing. Once the song ended, she exclaimed, "Nathan, that's the first time I've heard you sing since the fifth grade!"

     Nathan could feel his cheeks turning beet-red. "Have I gotten any better?"

     Sarah stifled a laugh, covering her mouth with her hand. "Um . . . no. Not really." Leaning in closer to her boyfriend, she kissed him on the cheek. "But I like you that way."

     After returning Sarah's kiss, Nathan wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Of course," he said, raising his voice as he stepped harder on the accelerator. "Everyone likes me that way."

     "Don't get too cocky, now." Sarah wiggled her way out from under Nathan's arm. "There's always room for improvement. Not to say you'll be singing at the opera anytime soon."

     Nathan heard the click meaning Sarah had unbuckled her seat belt. Looking over her way, he saw she was climbing out her seat and to the back of the car. "What are you doing?" he asked frantically, trying his best to keep his eyes on the road.

     "Having fun!" she shouted back. In his rear view mirror, Nathan could see how Sarah was perched atop the back seat, much higher than him now. She spread her arms to the sides and closed her eyes, her hair blowing around in all directions. As he watched her, Nathan's heart raced in his chest, fearing what might happen if she didn't get down.

     Just as Nathan was about to slam on the brakes, Sarah yelled, "Floor it!"

     She wasn't drunk. She wasn't high. So Nathan had absolutely no idea what was going on with Sarah. Never before had she acted like this, and that really scared him. What was she up to?

     Disregarding Sarah's request, Nathan made sure he kept the spedometer steady at fifty-five miles per hour. That way he wouldn't be caught for speeding. Just stay on the road, he told himself. Focus on your driving. Whatever you do, don't crash. There was a nagging thought in the back of his mind warning him to slow down, but out of fear he ignored it. A foolish mistake.

     "Sarah, you probably shouldn't sit there," he cautioned, attempting to keep his voice from shaking. "That's really not safe."

     "Who cares?" Sarah bent over to encircle Nathan's neck with her arms as she whispered in his ear, "Live in the moment, Nathan. That's what it's all about."

     But Nathan didn't care about "living in the moment." He just wanted to make it home alive, or with all his limbs, or with his car in one piece. "Sarah, please-"

     He didn't get to finish his sentence. Because by then, Sarah had placed her hands over his eyes, blinding him. Nathan couldn't even see through her fingers - for all he knew, there was only a wall of black in front of him. 

     Sarah's hands lingered there just for a moment. Not even a full sixty seconds.

     But that moment was enough for Nathan to veer off the road and flip his car.

                                                                         ~

     It's my fault.

     Sarah is dead now. She was killed on impact.

     Nathan, however, miracuously made it out with only a few bumps and bruises. But the pain in his heart is greater than any wound he could have received. He knows he should have hit the brakes the moment Sarah began making her way towards the back of the car. Maybe they both would be alive right now had he done that.

     But Nathan also knows that it's over now, that there is no going back. Sarah's eyes would never open again.

     I miss her.

Eyes Forever Closed © 2012, All Rights Reserved