Darkspur

Chapter 18 - Regrets

Little more than a sliver of moon shone in the near clear sky. Wisps of cloud sped across the stars as the increasing wind began to buffet the trees above Hanian in ever more ferocious gusts. The Fifteen, with the Elven army, had left Darkspur three days earlier, heading north east to try and intercept the meandering Darnach as they made their way through the countryside. A steady stream of reports filtered back from the Elven scouts confirming the Darnach were still on the move but strangely seeming to have no real purpose or goal. The scouts kept their distance, not wanting to risk alerting the enemy to their presence, the element of surprise always forefront in their minds.

On the second day it was reported they had stopped, fortifying a large, walled farmstead; seemingly preparing for a confrontation they realised was almost inevitable. The information for the actual size of their force was still confused, the accounts seeming to contradict each other daily, the Darnach doing their best to confound the Elves. Even so, the Darnach were known to be well outnumbered and Hanian was confident that the fight, if there was indeed to be a fight, would be quick and decisive.

He, Egrinlast and Orophin now sat at near midnight overlooking the fortified farm, the army waiting in position, surrounding the Darnach forces. They were waiting for word from Cass that his scouts were in position, ready to deal with the sentries spread out around the farm. Hanian looked up again at the swaying trees, the battering wind tossing the branches viciously above, the noise masking the movements of his men as they crept up on the unsuspecting foe.

His mind drifted to the first day out from Darkspur and to a question Egrinlast had asked him, a question that had now changed his whole outlook on what path he should be taking with his future.

"This must be quite a change for you, Hanian?" Egrinlast had asked as they rode together. "At the head of an army again after so long. I believe you had settled down to tend the land for the last several years?"

"Yes, that is correct, Egrinlast," he replied, "but I am a fighter at heart, that could never be taken from me."

"Tell me then, was it a difficult change, didn't it eat away at you thinking of the life you had lost?"

Hanian had only spoken to Egrinlast briefly and he found himself uncomfortable with the Elf's somewhat personal question.

"Why do you ask, Egrinlast?" Hanian asked.

"It's just I have thought about this myself, what would it be like to drop everything and just run away from my old life," Egrinlast replied.

Hanian's face darken. "I did not run away, Elf. I was forced to leave by that old fool, Caden, as I'm sure you well know. How dare you insinuate it was by choice I left Darkspur."

"I'm sorry, Hanian, I perhaps phrased that wrong," Egrinlast said, raising his hands defensively. "What I meant is, I have sometimes wondered what a normal life would be like without the responsibilities of being a king. I honestly did not mean to cause offence and it's quite plain it must have hurt you a great deal to leave the city. Again I apologise."

Hanian stared ahead, his brow furrowed and his jaw clenched. He took a while to answer, trying to calm the anger that Egrinlast's clumsy questioning had caused to flare inside. "It was difficult and the truth is, in some ways I regretted being Hankle Arborn every day, but it had to be, I had to become a different man. I was too well known in the realm as the Commander of the Fifteen, I even had my face on a damn coin. There was no getting away from the fact that wherever I went I would have been recognised." Hanian realised this was the first time he had ever admitted this to anyone, even himself. "So, Egrinlast, you want to know what a 'normal' life is like, it destroyed the man I was and I would not wish that on anyone. I just hope that Hanian Danorr is still in here somewhere." He kicked Aindreas' flanks, riding off to the front of the column leaving Egrinlast with no doubt of the knight's feelings.