Diary of the Gay Avenger

😈 Loki's Snuffed Voice

(Word Count: 1347)

LOKI'S POV

Hm... I forgot... Why was I still living again?

Oh yeah... Him... Daniel...

Too bad he probably never loved you. The only person in the universe who claimed to have tender affection for you... and he's a pathetic human. And all this lowly human's ever done was take pity on you. You're nothing but a weak JOTUN.

I shook my head and sighed as I looked out of the window watched Daniel from afar. He was training with Steve and Natasha and he looked very happy. Why couldn't I be that happy? Daniel was mine and I finally had somewhere to belong but why wasn't I happy?

Tch. Pathetic. Why should someone like you ever have the pleasure of being something as trivial as "happy". You are truly petty...

I knew it. I would never be happy. I don't deserve happiness. A failure like me doesn't deserve happiness. I couldn't even manage to take over New York without my plains being foiled by a boy. A Midgardian boy that I ended up falling in love with.

Ugh. Stupid Loki. Stupid. You don't deserve him. He's too kind. He's too caring. He's too good for you. He's not a disaster. He's not a mistake in the universe.

You were born for the sole purpose of being used. That's all that you're good for. Even that boy is probably using you. What does he want? To feel more powerful by having the upper hand on a God?

But that damn voice was right... I didn't want to listen to it. But it was very true. Who's to say Daniel wasn't using me for his own entertainment? Something to hold above his head when he finally found the victory he was looking for? 'I, Daniel of Midgard, had bested the weak and frail Loki of Asgard!'

"Hey! Lokes, you stare through that glass any harder and you might break it!" Tony teased as he walked through the viewing area of the training room. "OH, wait. Sorry. I didn't notice Daniel." Tony inhaled with a light chuckle. "I'm not even going to ask what's going on in that kinky Asgardian head of yours."

My eyebrow twitched in impatience.

Go on. Just kill him. You're aching for a vent right now, I can feel it. Imagine the crimson splattered against these very walls. The very blade to extract this crimson liquid, resting in your tightly clenched fist. His eyes closed as his head barely hung on by a-

I let out a loud scream that was a mix of anger, fear, and anxiety. I clutched my head as I screamed out my emotions. I couldn't kill these people, and certainly not like what I just saw in my own mind. As soon as I had run out of air, I gasped for more and realized that someone's hand was on my back and shouting was erupting around me.

Now you got their attention, spoiled brat. Was that all that was for? You're the one with the problems and you need all the attention on you. What? You need them to cater to you like a baby just so you feel secure that they actually care? All of them PITY. YOU.

"Loki? Hey, buddy, I need you to talk to me. What's up? Come on, give me some kind of reaction." My nose scrunched up as Tony's voice rang loudly in my ears. "Hey, you hear me?"

See that? He doesn't care. He's only pitying you. Besides, shouldn't your boyfriend be at your little pity party?

The voice was cut off as I felt a soft hand on my knee. Daniel was there to save me from the darkness once again. My eyes snapped open and he was right in front of me speaking quietly, "Hey, I know you're having some kind of panic attack right now. I just need you to breathe for me and come back to us. Everything's going to be okay, Loki."

That smile... I fell in love with that smile. That face. That tousled hair. That small frame. I fell in love with this Midgardian and he was mine.

They should all die for just being near you! You should be a King! But no! You're sitting there being a pathetic child! YOU SHOULD BE DEAD, DAMN IT. No. Don't you even fucking think about crying in front of them. Get out. Now.

With a gasp, I pushed them off as I pulled away and leaned against a wall, panting for air as I hissed, "Don't... Don't touch me..." I stumbled out of the room. Yes, they called after me, but they didn't dare touch me after my threat. I stumbled out of the room and went straight to the roof to catch my breath in the open air. I gasped yet again as I fell to my knees. That was when the tears fell. No, I didn't want to die, but nor did I want to kill any of the Midgardians. I didn't care about being King! The voice did!

Idiotic Jotun. Can't handle small things like that. Maybe I should handle things...

"No!" I shouted, covering my face as I yelled, "You won't touch them! Damn it!"

"Loki?" A small voice came from behind me. I stopped my tantrum as I froze. "You're definitely not okay. We can get Thor to take you back to Asgard or something and see what's wrong. I didn't want to admit it, but I don't know how to help you and I'm worried."

I stared aimlessly before me. Daniel wanted to send me to Asgard... he wanted to send me away...

See? You caused such a scene he doesn't even want to deal with you anymore. Typical Jotun ruining everything with a single glance. Now, it's my turn to party.

I stood to my feet as the darkness surged around my mind, my eyes turning to a cold blue. I glared towards Daniel, "I don't need your pity! I don't need anything from you pathetic Midgardians!"

"Loki," Daniel stared at me with wide eyes and a part of me felt guilty at making him look at me like that. "Thor needs to take you back to Asgard! I seriously don't know what's wrong with you!"

At that moment, a concerned Thor came up to the roof where met Daniel and myself was still glaring daggers at them. "I'm not going to Asgard to be put in a cage! You may have defeated me once, but I won't be tricked into returning home!"

"You aren't acting like yourself, brother!" I backed off as Thor neared me. I wasn't about to be forced to Asgard.

They won't lock me in a cage. They'll all be dead. I'll kill them all. This will be mine. All of Midgard will be mine.

"I'll show you-" I cut myself off as I found my scepter in my hands aimed at Thor and Daniel. My grip lessened on the weapon as it was suddenly hit out of my hand by Thor's hammer. I fell to the roof, holding my head tightly. "I- I need to go to Asgard. This... voice... needs to be silenced..."

Daniel nodded to Thor and Thor smiled gently at me, though I didn't see it. "You needn't worry, brother. We'll help you."

Yes, I was being taken to Asgard against my will. But on the inside, I definitely felt like they could help me in contrast to if I stayed on Midgard.

(A/N: I'd try to do more in Loki's POV, but I feel like he's just so depressing. I also feel like all my most emotional shorts are going to be with him just because he just has so much sadness. ;-; I'm sowwy. I try not to make him so depressed, but he has self-confidence issues and hates himself. >~<

Welp, Reminder that I'm taking shorts requests. 😙 This also came out interesting since I used a picture for inspiration instead of a prompt. I might make a part 2 with him returning from Asgard.)