Love Isn't Always Fair

Ch. 8 Change is good...?

A/N: Ohmigod guys. It's been a year. I am so fucking sorry. I hope this stoyr finds its way to some new fans, and it's old ones as well. I plan to  update so much more. I didn't forget about this I promise. Much love to everyone -Susan

Kathy's POV

I woke up early the next morning with wo arms wrapped around me. I looked up and saw I was snuggled into Andy's chest. I wanted to head out for a walk, but everytime I moved Andy held me tighter. 

"Andy...." I whisper yelled, poking his face.

"Andyyyyyyyyyyyyy" I did it again, slightly louder.

"Andeaterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" I spoke and poked his nose. Finally he began to stir.

"What is it?" He said half asleep.

"I wanna go for a walk." 

"Okay... be safe. If you get into trouble call me right away." He said and tried to fall back asleep, but kept his grip on me.

"Andyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" I whined poking him again. 

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat" he whined right back.

"I need you to let go of me first." I laughed.

"Sorry." he mumbled, and loosened his grip, rolling over. 

I carefully got out of his bed and went back into my room. I got a quick shower, was careful around my cuts. I forgot how the first time showering after fresh cuts gave a really bad sting. 

Is it bad though, that that sting made me want to cut more? I know I shouldn't, but I want to. But... I possibly have Ashley now. I can't hurt him like that. 

Stop thinking you actually HAVE Ashley. You don't HAVE anyone. You're a slut, and Ashley is just as bad as you are. 

My thoughts are right, They always are. I am such a disappointment. That's why I'll only ever be good enough for Jason. I know it. I don't know why I even try. I don't deserve this. I don't deserve this life. 

I got dressed in my black skinny jeans, a black Misfits shirt, and black converse. I put a beanie on and straightened my black and purple hair. I looked into my wallet, fake ID? Check. Time to go forget for a little while. 

I walked outside and down to the corner store. I walked straight to the back and grabbed a bottle of Jack. On the way back to the counter, I picked up some monster, skittles, and a lighter. As I put my purchases on the counter, the cashier eyed me skeptically. 

"Can I see your ID please?" He said boredly. I handed him my fake that said I was 22. He sighed and handed it back to me, scanning the rest of my items. "Would you like anything else?" 

"A pack of Marlboro Black Menthols please." 

"Okay. That'll be $22.80."  

I handed him the cash, and left. I walked down to the park and climbed into a tree. I opened the bottle of Jack and took a big sip of it. Andy would kill me if he saw me now. I sat up in the tree for about an hour just listening to music. 

I laughed a bit to myself. If only Andy and Ashley saw me now. They wouldn't like it too much would they? I finished off the bottle and lit up a cigarette. I jumped out of the tree and started walking down towards the bridge.

You see our town has this bridge, and it's not too safe. It's the place where a few kids have jumped in the past, succesfully ending their lives. One of these days, this is where they'll be finding me. I looked down as I stared at the rush of water around the rocks beneath me, I smiled. I wonder what it's like hitting the rocks beneath. Knowing in seconds that everything could finally be over. I slowly leaned over the edge a little bit more, to the point where a simple slip would mean falling, and ending it all.