Love Isn't Always Fair

What I Deserve

Kathy's POV

"I'm really glad you're okay Kathy." Ashley whispered as I pulled away from our kiss. 

"Thanks... I guess.." I looked away.

"We need you here Kitty. Please don't leave us. Don't leave me." He whispered and grabbed my hands. I smiled a bit. I really don't deserve him being nice to me. All I'm going to end up doing is cheating on him. "Look Kitty.. I have to go. I have something to take care of at home. Andy and the rest of the guys are gonna be downstairs if you need anything." He kissed my forehead and got up and left.

~*~ Time Skip: 1 week ~*~

I can't stand this. Andy isn't letting me do anything. I mean that too. I seriously had to hide my blades in my guitar case because thats the one place Andy didn't look through. He took the lock off the door to my room and to my bathroom as well. I can't leave anywhere alone. I have to be with someone in the band. Usually thats him CC or Ashley. I can't take it anymore. I was supposed to go on a date tonight with Ashley, but I texted him and told him I wasn't feeling up to it. Andy's sound asleep in his room, he thinks I'm doing the same. I slowly went downstairs, being as quiet as I could. I grabbed my purse that had my phone, charger, and some makeup in it and tossed it over my shoulder.  I'm not staying here any longer. I can't get better, I'm not broken. I'm surviving.

The only problem is, Ashley. I'm not good enough for him. So that's why I'm leaving. I dropped a note on the counter for Andy, and grabbed my blades out of my guitar case and left.

I walked the path leading to my nightmare, but he was the only guy I deserve.

I knocked on the door to his house, and when he opened it he smiled.

"Welcome back." He said as he stepped aside for me to come in. I hesitantly stepped through the doorway and he closed and locked the door behind him.

"So what do my brother and I owe the pleasure?" He smirked.

"I don't deserve Ashley. You're the only guy I deserve." I said in almost a monotone.

"Well in that case..." He said as he stepped towards me. He grabbed my arm and pushed me against the wall. He kissed me roughly, ripping my shirt off as he did so. I reluctantly kissed him back, regretting my decision to come here.

Don't regret this. You deserve this. Ashley will never love you, and if the player would never love you, what would make you think CC would.

I was right as always. I only deserve this. I just hope Andy understands. I don't want to hurt him, but I needed to do this for myself. This was my choice to come here, and that's what I have to live with now.