Blind date (n.s)

1

"Ali, I'm home!", I shouted as I locked the door behind me and began to slip off my shoes.

"I'm in my room, daddy! Doing my homework!", my daughter shouted back from her room down the hall.

I smiled to myself. I didn't know where Alice got this passion for being good in school from. Not from me, obviously. I had left school when I had only been sixteen and had begun to travel around the country. I had been partying all the time back then. I really didn't give a fuck about tomorrow, so when I had had some money I had spent it on drinks, alcohol and joints. I had been forced to sleep in sheds, stables or on the streets because I hadn't have a flat but after some time I had found it more comfortable to just hook up with a stranger every night. At least I had have a bed to sleep in then.

Looking back, I can say now, that I should have stayed in school and learned a proper job. But I had been feeling good back then. I had wanted to get away from all that pressure, my parents would constantly put me under and the school that I had hated so much. I still wanted to leave all of this far behind but it wasn't possible anymore. I had to count on my parents, mostly my mum and my older sister. My dad saw me as a burden, a freak. Since I ran away I haven't talked to him.

My runaway life had had a quick ending after I  had found out that I was pregnant. So with only sixteen I was going to have a baby whilst I had been far away from home, alone and without a roof above my head.

My parents got me a tiny flat. One room with one bed, a chair, no table and a light bulb. It had been enough and more than I could have asked for. For my parents it probably had been a huge overcoming, because they had sworn that they wouldn't help me after I had ran away. My sister Janet wasn't like that at all. She still came over to my flat once a week. Alice loved her but I guess that's only because she had never met any other family member. My parents didn't want to meet her even though me and Janet found this ridiculous. Alice wasn't to be blamed for my stupid decisions and mistakes.

I was so damn happy that Alice wasn't like me. She knew what she wanted. She would never lie to anybody. She would never hop in bed with some random guys. She would never run away. She would always find her way. Because she was even now stronger than I ever was and probably will be.

"Which homework are you doing, Ali?", I asked her as I came into her room and  leaned against the door.

"History, but I don't understand why the French Revolution wasn't successful!"
Alice looked at me, waiting for my response. It bothered her a lot when she couldn't get a good explanation for things.

To be honest, I didn't even know that the French Revolution hadn't been successful, I thought it had been.

So I just shrugged.
"Don't know, sorry?", I smiled at her. Sometimes I felt idiotic and dumb because I couldn't even explain such simple things to my daughter.

She taught me more than I could ever teach her. Even though she probably didn't even know it. But because of her I had been forced to rebuild my life and to get my shit together. I didn't want to lose her and I wanted to have enough money so that she could get everything she needed. I had to search a job and I had to move into a flat. Without her I'd probably still drink too much, take drugs, smoke and sleep in bed with a stranger every night.
I was so thankful for having her.

"Well, then I have to ask my teacher tomorrow", Alice said and turned back to read another chapter of her history book.

Alice loved history. I couldn't relate that to me, but I couldn't relate anything of her character to mine. If she didn't have those blue eyes that looked exactly like mine and the same taste in music, I wouldn't believe that she was actually the baby that I delivered nearly twelve years ago.