Blind date (n.s)

16

"I know now where I'll be taking Camilla for a date!" Shawn announced.

I grinned and raised an eyebrow. "Where?"

"We'll be going to the open-air cinema."

"That's nice." I nodded. "She'll like that a lot."

Shawn smiled happily. "I hope so. Eleanor was the one who came up with the idea. She works at a food truck on Saturdays which always sells food at the open-air cinema. So thanks to her!"

"You talked to Eleanor?"

"I did. I met her in the city. I had an appointment at the doctors and she wanted to go shopping or something. Anyway, Camilla told her about me asking her out and so El asked me where I would be taking her... and the rest is unnecessary detail. Hopefully it won't rain."

"When will you take her out?"

"This Saturday!" Shawn just couldn't stop smiling.

"Horan, Mendes! You're not getting paid for standing around and chatting!", Barbara yelled.

She still hadn't punished me for insulting her. Not that I minded. Maybe she couldn't punish me for only saying the truth.

I went back to the tills.

"Why are you smiling, Ni?" Julia called.

"Shawn's got a date and is jinxed because of it. It's pretty adorable."

It was good to know that at least something wasn't going the wrong way. By the Shawns eyes lit  up when he was talking about Camilla I knew he was serious about it. He wanted it to be good, he wanted to make Camilla happy and he wanted to show her much she meant to him. He didn't want to take big steps though. He wanted it to be perfect. He wanted a perfect date.

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"I'm so glad you've come", Eleanor huged me tight.

"I'm not sure I should be here, though", I glanced about.

I've never liked hospitals. The worst part were not operations or investigations, it was the waiting room. It was always quiet in there. Many people tried to seem busy by reading magazines or observing the others but the truth was that they were all anxious to know wat the doctor would be telling them. If it was good or bad news.

This waiting room was a different thing though. Women sat in the chairs, all looking frightened and some even crying. I actually didn't know what else I expected. It was an abortion clinic. Abortion was a big step and I wasn't really sure if it was a step into the wrong or right direction.

When i had found out about being pregnant I had thought about getting an abortion. However I decided to keep Alice and looking back I can say it was the best thing I could have posibbly done.

"Are you sure you want me to be here?"I asked, sitting down in a chair. Me and El did get along pretty well, we always did. But I didn't know her that well. And getting an abortion was  something extremly personal so I wondered why she would want me to be there with her and not one of her female friends or family members.

"I don't know about what I'm sure anymore." Eleanor fiddeled with her bracelet. "Niall, I don't want you to think I'm some kind of monster because I want to abort my child, but... I can't...I just really cannot have a baby."

"I don't judge you." I said. "And I will keep my opinion to myself. That's your decision... Only, if you don't mind me asking, why don't you want to have this baby? You and Louis have called it quits so you would be a single mother, yes. But is that a reason to get an abortion?"

Eleanor sighed.

"It's not the only reason." I determined. 

"No, it is not. I'm about to get promoted. And I believe a baby would be in the way. Louis and me are no longer together so the baby would be born into an ex-lover parenting world and I do not think that this is something such an innocent human deserves. And I would never find a partner again... I would stay on my own, lonely until I die. Who would want a women with achild that is not ones own?", She looked up, eyes going wide. "Oh my god, no I didn't mean it like that... I - forget that please. I'm so sorry."

"Don't stress" I waved it off. "I know you didn't want to put it like that. Why did you break up with Lou?"

Eleanor put her hands over her mouth. "It was like we... we started to live our own lifes more and more. We didn't care about the other one anymore, we became strangers. I guess, we took the other one for granted... as soon as you reaach that point everything starts falling down. We didn't fight or anything. Maybe that was the problem, we didn't talk anymore. We were sleeping back to back, left the house without kissing or saying goodbye and when we had sex than I couldn't feel the love anymore that had been there once. W simply fell out of love more and more without really noticing. And when we noticed it was too late."

"Too late for what?"

"Too late to rebuild everything. We've both become numb. the other one didn't matter anymore. We drifted apart."

"You still matter to him, you know? He still loves you."

Eleanor smiled weakly. "I don't think so, Niall. He just doesn't know what or who he is without me, nor do I. We've been a couple since we were 18. More than ten years. We don't know how it is to be single."

I swollowed hard. I didn't want to believe that it was really over between Eleanor and Louis. They were perfect together. They were meant to be together. But Eleanor sounded pretty certain and final.

"Miss Calder, please." A nurse called, smiling much too friendly.

Eleanor and I stood up and followed her to an investigation room.

"The doctor will be here in a minute." The nurse said and closed the door as she left the room.

"You really want this?" I was surprised that Eleanor seemed to be so calm and relaxed about this.

"I don't know. There is a chance I'll regret it. But I'm not ready to be a mother and Louis is not ready to be a father."

"There are other options-"

"Niall, please. What do you think? That I didn't thought about what I'm doing? This is huge and I'm scared but I figure it's best." Eleanor interrupted me.

"I know, I don't want to sound criticizing and I respect your decisions, but I don't want you to regret it. See, i know what it's like to be pregnant and alone and afraid what the future will bring. Sometimes life is absolute shit and we do things out of panic and because we're too deadlocked to see other ways to solve a problem. I don't want you to travell on wrong paths."

Eleanor stood up from where she was sitting and pulled me in for a hug, burying her face in my neck.

Thank you