Blind date (n.s)

8

"Don't screw up your look!" Alice yelled at me.
"Sorry" I said, but it is hard not to screw up your look when your twelve-year-old is coming at you with several shirts and jeans.

I nearly regretted giving her those tablets that make you feel completely fit in only a few minutes. It was like the flu had disappeared but of course this condition was only temporary. But it would last long enough for making her dress me.

I caught my sister's eye as Alice studied the bunch of old, worn out shirts that laid on the floor. Janet winked at me.

"You haven't got any pink!" Alice complained "pink is totally the best colour for bringing out blue eyes, it says here."

She waved the magazine article at me and I looked at the face of the male model with perfectly smooth, blemish-free skin.

"Am I going to look like him" I said nodding to the model. Alice laughed.

"Don't be mad" she said. "He's about eighteen and anyway it's all done on computers now. He's probably got bags under his eyes and loads of spots. Everyone knows that magazine models aren't real."

She turned back to me and surveyed my face. "You need pink. I think I've seen a pink jacket in the back of your wardrobe" she said brightly. "I'll get it"

I turned to my sister.
"What do you think it'll look like?" I asked her, pointing at my whole body.

"It'll be like you have had one of those extreme makeovers from off the telly and it's gone really wrong" Janet said, her voice wobbling with a hidden laugh.

"I'll put something else on later" I said. "When I get to the pub."

"What, go out of the house with that ugly pink jacket?" Janet exclaimed. "I don't know why you willed in to let her do your look in the first place" she said, handing me a cup of tea. "Sometimes I think she's too bossy for her own good that girl. You shouldn't let her bully you"

A flash of anger shot across my face.
"She is not a bully" I said sharply.

"No, no. I didn't mean that" Janet said quickly. "You know what I mean."

"I know that she likes to feel involved. She likes to feel a part of it" I said. "I would hate her to think I was going out there to find a bloke without her having any say in it."

Janet sat down at the kitchen table and looked at me. "You have to do some things just for you" she said. "That's what I thought all this computer dating stuff is about."

I stared at the reflection of the kitchen light shimmering in the surface of my cup of tea.

"But I had to tell Alice about the date, hadn't I?"

"Yeah, you had to"

"You think all this is stupid, don't you?" I asked my sister. "All this dating stuff."
I looked up at Janet's face but her expression did not change.

"I don't think that, love" she said, carefully. "I want you to get someone in your life. It's just... you haven't always made the right choices, Ni. I just want you to be careful. And so do our parents even if you're convinced they don't. They really do." she added.

I sighed. "I have been careful, Janie. That's why I've been on my own since I was pregnant!" I forced my voice to lower to normal again. "I need more."