Scars that Last Forever

Chapter 13

It has been another 2 months. 

Not much has changed. 

I talk to the others sometimes. 

But mostly I cling to Bucky and wonder how I can help others. 

I have done nothing for this world- I killed people. 

If anything I hurt this world. 

"Hey Peter, come with me Tony and I have to show you something," Bucky says snapping me out of my thoughts. 

I raise my eyebrows but nod and follow Bucky out of my room. We walk down a series hallways and the only thing I can here is the constant Click Clack of our shoes. 

Fear. 

Darkness. 

I try to forget . 

But I don't think I can. 

I try to ignore. 

But I don't think I can. 

At the end of the hallway we turn into one of his labs. 

"Hey kid, Bucky, how are you," He says with a smirk I inch a little closer to Bucky. 

"We're good, did you finish?" I look curiously in between them. 

"Yeah, um here you go kid, be safe," He hands me a box. 

I look curiously at the box. 

I am allowed to open it?

"Bucky nods." Slowly I open the box. 

Inside is a red and blue chunk of fabric with black lines on it. 

I pull it out and notice it is almost like a suit. And in the bottom of the box. 

It is a mask. 

What? 

"T-Thank you T-Tony," I stutter out. 

"No problem," He turns around and sits back down on his chair. 

I look up to Bucky. 

What? 

Bucky puts and arm on my back and brings me out into the hall. 

We walk a little ways and then find a spot to sit down. 

"Peter, I had Tony make you a suit. You always say you hurt this world. In my oppinion you didn't. So Tony made you your own super suit, I helped design it. I hope you like it." 

I look down at the fabric in my hands. 

Super suit? 

I feel a weird feeling strike across my heart. 

The only thing I know is it isn't sad. 

"To help people?" I ask in a quiet voice. 

Bucky nods. 

"Yes."

Help? 

The word is fresh in my mouth, it makes me feel almost happy? 

I'm not sure. 

I smile. 

A real smile. 

It's small- almost not their. 

But it is. 

And that's all that matters for now. 

I hug Bucky. 

"Thank you." I say. 

I really mean it. 

But not just for the suit. 

For everything. 

Thank you for everything you have done for me. 

He hugs me back and runs a hand through my hair. 

"You should go, if you need help just say 'Call Bucky' and your suit will call me," 

Wow. 

I look at my self in front of the mirror. 

The suit hugs me. 

It makes me look strong. 

But then I look up to my face. 

My eyes are glittering with fear, and my face resembles horror.

For a moment I forgot my past. 

But then it all comes back. 

Something will remind me. 

I won't every forget. 

I slip the red mask over my face. 

The look of horror is gone. 

Well not gone. 

Hidden. 

I can't see it. 

I gaze into the mirror, into my whit eyes. 

I love it. 

I feel like I might be able to forget. 

I feel a glimmer of hope. 

But not a lot. 

However it does slightly chip away the rest of the fear. 

I open the window, the cool breeze fills the room. 

I put one foot out. 

Then the other. 

The air surrounds me and I feel slightly less caged. 

I feel like I might be a little free. 

But still not completely. 

I shoot a web connecting a building. 

I feel a slight tingle in the back of my head. 

I drop down to the floor. 

I hear a scream. 

A scared scream. 

I quickly run into the dark alleyway. 

Dark. 

Fear. 

I quickly punched the guy in the ally way that was touching the women. 

He groans. 

I shoot a web and it hits square in his chest. 

I fling him against the wall and web him up. 

"Thank you, the woman says. What's your name?" 

PTR Spider 7125. 

No. 

Spider?

"Spider-Man," I say. She smiles at me. 

"Thank you Spider-Man. You saved me." 

Saved. 

I helped one person. 

I killed more than I can count. 

However helping  feels nice. 

But it still doesn't change anything. 

It still doesn't changed the fact that I killed hundreds of people. 

I lean against the brick wall. 

Spider-Man. 

...

Merry Christmas 

-EB