Be You- Short Stories

Anxiety No More-Ch 5

*This is the first place winner of the writing contest! This was also the only entry. But they still did an amazing job! Check out their page! Their name is at the bottom. Enjoy!*

"Wake up!" I screamed, as I pounded on the bathroom door. "Wake up wake up wake up!" The shaking never ceased and my mind closed in again and again, choking me. Yet, he was there, watching, waiting for his moment to pounce. I could tell.
You'll never wake up. You're hopeless, friendless, brainless. I'm the only one who can help, but why would I do that? No one loves you enough for me to save you. His voice echoed again. He knew it would wear me down. The attack would never stop.
Anxiety did this, depression did this, Nemo did this. The two together are unstoppable, unbeatable. Yet, I try so hard. That is, I tried. I tried for the longest time to beat it, until finally, I just gave in to the attacks, the cuts, the voice of Nemo calling me a reject, unloved, unwanted, ugly, disgusting, a freak of nature. He knew it was what I didn't want to hear, but then again, that's his point. To break me until I scour the drawers in my room to find a blade. To watch as a drag the knife across my wrist, trying to get him out. He refuses to leave.
"Please, just go away. This is all a dream, it's a dream it's a dream, just a dream," I repeated over and over. But, it wasn't, and I knew it. He was ready to pounce again, so close. My phone rang in my pocket, and I wiped my tears long enough to see who was calling. Gabe. I answered as quickly as I could and my mind opened again, as if I had been underwater too long, and had finally come up for air. Nemo decided listen in on the conversation, as if I had a choice.
"Elizabeth?" he asked after I answered the phone with, "Oh thank God."
"Yes, it's me," I answered, mentally facepalming. Of course he knew it was me!
He meant to call some other girl. Probably his girlfriend. He was going to ask her on a date. They were going to go to a movie and hold hands and stare deeply into one another's eyes as he said, "I love you." To her, leaving you in the dust, reject.
"Shut up," I muttered, trying to get ahold of my mind long enough to listen to Gabe. He was my anchor, my rock, my world. He helped when no one else wanted to.
"Sorry," He answered. "Is this a bad time?"
"Oh! Oh my gosh, no. I didn't mean for you to shut up. Just someone else," I explained in a mess of words.
"Nemo?" he asked. How did he know? I had never told him of Nemo, never told him of the voice that took over every bit of my life, and my decisions.
"Um, uh, well, uh, um," I stammered. "How did you know about him?"
"You stare into space sometimes," more like black out "and you right the name Nemo over and over in your notebook. Then, you just crumble it up and throw the paper in your book bag," He said. I stood, and stumbled to my room, my head still dizzy from the attack. He was right, there were pages and pages of his name. Thank God I hadn't wrote Gabe's name, my crush.
"Is he a voice? In your head? Does he say things to you that make you want to just blast your head open just to get him out?" He asked. I nodded, then remembered that I was on the phone and said yes. "I've got one too. The most ironic part, I named him Nemo too. He kinda has my voice, but in a totally awful way. You know?"
"I really know, Gabe. Trust me. I was terrified of you for the longest time cause you were Nemo's voice, you had his voice I mean. But, you're the nice version of Nemo. He's a jerk, you're not. I hate him and like you," I stammered out. Then came the moment of realization. I had just told him I liked him! Oh no!
"You like me?" He asked in a small voice. I bit back a loud no, and decided just to tell him yes. "I like you too. I have for the longest time."
Our conversation ended up continuing later at the hospital when I passed out from shock and hit my head, getting a concussion. That was three years ago. Never once have I had an anxiety attack or heard Nemo again. The love of my life and I are now going strong as a couple, and have been to plenty of movies with the whispers of, "I love you." Afterward. This is the story of anxiety no more.
Authors note: This story is a mashup of real and fake. Most of this is real, but the bathroom scene did happen the way it is described and the hospital thing didn't ever happen, so yeah. Don't trust everything you read in this, and if you want to know the very short version of how Gabe and I found out we liked each other, just message me, and I can tell you. Thanks!!

*Thanks to @Princess2Bride for providing this story!* -Nikki