Be You- Short Stories

The Light That Dimmed-Ch 22

The years I spent as a child felt like a dream. In those moments, it all felt right. I trusted everyone, I was brave, I was confident, and yet timid. I had the hopes a child should have. But when I was with you, you brought the darkness of the world to my front door. You told me we shouldn't take hold of our hope, because the world would end just as fast... literally. How could I have survived you? How could I have survived a child molester? Both were terrible and I lived to tell the tale. But you never prepared me for life. You braced me for the end. So much so, pessimism now heavily runs in my veins. You made me crazy, angry, and everything in between. You expected me to be perfect, but how could I? I was a fucking child. I didn't know what was right and what was wrong. I grew up too fast because of what YOU put in my head. I trust slowly and love slower. Not because of what I chose, but because of how I was broken.

I used to have happiness, now I have pain. I used to be hopeful, but now I'm afraid. You took away basically every piece of me and left me with almost nothing. You didn't help me grow up, THEY DID. You didn't teach me about hope, THEY DID. When you left, THEY picked up my pieces. THEY healed me. THEY made sure I was okay. They didn't think a demonic presence was the answer to everything. They knew that sometimes we were thrown trials to make us better people. Now I know everything isn't my fault. Now I heal. Now I grow. But not because of you. No. Because of ME. So thank you for the fun memories you brought, but we were never the family you thought we could be. You weren't even friends of my family. You were a painful memory that I miss, and yet I'm glad I never have to deal with again. Thank you for being a small fraction of who I am. But I hope I never have to see you again. And if I do, may God bless me with the strength and love to forgive you.