The Rift

Chapter 7

7

Lights guided me home. It ignited on my bones and Chris Mears was holding my hands as we walk down the Westergren Avenue. The moon shines so bright and its light glitter on Mears’ black hair. The sweat in his forehead makes him look like a jewelry sparkling whenever light strikes his beautiful skin. 

“What?” he asked and smiled consciously.

“Nothing.” I replied. I held his hands tightly. He has always been my companion, my other half and my savior. 

“Baby?” he asked.

“Hmmm?”

“If you’ll be given a chance to change a single moment in your life, what would be it??”

I thought for a moment and I chuckled. “I don’t know. I can’t remember anything I ever wanted to change in my life. Why? What about you?” I threw back his question. I can’t think of anything right now. We continued walking while talking about it.

“I wanted to change that very moment when I lied about how I truly feel about you.” I stopped walking and thought about what he meant.

“What?” I was confused. I don’t know what he’s trying to say.

He smiled; that kind of smile that my bones get weaker whenever I see it. I’m in love with him every minute of every day that passes through us. I’ve never felt this kind of feeling before.

“If I was so honest with what I truly felt about you that time when we were in Briddia, there could have been a great chance of me winning your heart.” He never stopped walking while I was there, standing behind him, thinking of how our relationship all started.

He’s right. He could have changed my mind if only I knew the truth about his feelings. 

We sat on a park nearby our house. We continued to talk about the past.

“Why did you hide it from me? I mean… what you felt about me.” I asked him. Long silence covered us. I can only hear crickets’ sound all over the place.

“If I have told you, there could have been some changes, right?” He asked.

I don’t exactly know how to answer him. There could have been changes but I’m not sure if those changes would do any good things to us. I dig some unhurtful ideas in my mind. I wanted to tell him the truth without hurting his feelings. I know it was my entire fault, or maybe not, for letting him go at the first place. He was almost mine, but I let him flew away like someone who has no meaning in my life. 

“I loved you, and I’ll still continue to love you.” I told him. I don’t know what else to say. That’s all I have in mind.

“Ran?” his low, passionate voice made all my nerves react. Since we entered this relationship, it’s the first time he ever called me with my name. I don’t know what to feel in the moment. I’m used of hearing him calling me ‘Baby’.

I didn’t reply. Hearing him saying my name… hurts. I’m not used of it. 

“Why did you lie to me?” he has this kind of distracting voice that can really reach my inner bones until it all becomes weaker and weaker each moment I hear him talking.

“I’m sorry.” I dipped down my head. I know I lied to him. I told him before I left Briddia that I never did like him; that he’s just one of those Athletic guys I admire but will never be special in my heart. I never wanted to be that fast. I first saw him when he saved my brother and I know, right on that exact moment when I set my eyes on him, I knew there’ll be something more inside my heart aside from that craving feeling of wanting an athletic guy.