Secrets and Advantages

Save Me From Who I'm Supposed To Be

WARNING!!

"I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU ROBERT!" I cried out as I ran out of the house, slamming the door as I ran out of it. I didn't know where I was gonna end up but it would be somewhere far away from him.

(Michael's P.O.V)

It had been a couple weeks since I stormed out on Steffany. I mean, I don't feel bad for doing it and I don't know if I should. I'm just as confused as I was when I had that hallucination about Marcella. Marcella. I wonder how she's been. I haven't seen her since I've gotten back but I guess that's because I haven't really gotten out of the house.

I stood up, off of the couch, put my Nikes on then grabbed my key and put my wallet in my sweats pocket and left to go to Marcella's house.

When I got there, I rang the doorbell but nobody answered so I knocked. No answer. I knocked louder but still no answer. I knocked louder and when nobody answered, I kicked the door open and I saw a guy standing there. "Who the hell are you and where the hell is Marcella?" I asked "I was fixing to ask you the same thing" he said and clenched his fist "well damn. I'm Michael" I held out my hand for him to shake "I'm Robert" he said and put a firm grip to my hand "don't try to start anything bud. I'm not here for a fight, I'm here to visit an old friend" I simply told him "well good, she isn't here" he gave me a death stare "then why are you here?" I asked and stepped back "Marcella and I just had a mis-happening and she just needed space. You can stay until she gets back if you'd like" "stay my ass" I muttered louder than expected and ran upstairs to her room. Her room was messy, and this wasn't like Marcella. Her clothes were all over the floor, her closet a disaster, and a medium-sized picture frame laying face down on the floor. Shattered. I walked over to it and picked it up, it was a picture of us on her fourteenth birthday party when we were slow dancing in the middle of her backyard. My mum had taken the picture. I propped the picture on her knight stand and walked to her desk where there was laid her diary that she never let anyone read, opened to a freshly written-ond page:

Dear diary,

It has been 17 (almost 18) years since I was born. Also 17 (again, almost 18) years since I gained my best friend Michael Gordon Clifford.....

the hardest part is letting go. But now I have to let go. So goodbye to all of the friends who stayed with me through my darkest days and nights and times. Thank you to the bullies at school who taught me to stick up for others even if they beat me down....

I read on to the last paragraph.

Mom, I'm sorry I wasn't good enough or pretty enough for you to keep me and accept me as your daughter. Luke, Ashton, and Calum, I'm sorry I'm doing this but just know that I'll always love you and I'll be watching from above. Keep Michael safe and grounded. Steffany. You got him, you got my best friend. I just hope you treat him right, keep him good, and love him like he deserves. One last person, Michael. I miss you, I love you. I miss the old you that always hung out with me, cheered me up, play video games with me, spend the night every Friday, etc. I hope you haven't forgotten about me because I sure as hell haven't forgotten about you. When you get back to earth and back from tour, I won't be here. I'm sorry if you still cared. I didn't want it to end up this way but it did so.. bye and you should've showed that you still cared sooner. Goodbye.

Love Marcella

P.S. whoever reads this (which I doubt anyone will) you'll find me where I go when I get upset and feel like I've had enough. But if you don't know where that is then just don't worry about it.

I grabbed the little book and ran out of her room and down the stairs "you fucking asshole prick" I yelled at Robert as I ran out of the house. I got in my car and zoomed out of the driveway and onto the road, trying not to think of the letter so I wouldn't cry again. I was driving to the cliff on the beach. That's where Marcella always went when she was upset, I knew it from childhood, we had explored the beach together when she was about eight or nine and found this place and it was quiet so she liked it. We both came here, most of the time together just to watch the beautiful wave hit the rocks and to talk.

I pulled up to a parking spot, there weren't that many cars out here because it was humid today. I practically jumped out of the car before I turned it off and started running towards the cliff. "Dammit Marcella, why?" I muttered under my breath when her body came in sight, just a couple of feet away from falling off of the cliff. People were yelling at her, some to jump and some to stop and don't do it, but most of the people were telling her to jump.

I ran and pushed people out of the way as I did. "Marcella!" I yelled as I was half way through the crowd but she didn't turn around. She must have thought that she truly wasn't hearing me, which made me push by people faster and harder. I got some "hey"s and some "fuck off"s but that didn't bother me none, I only had one priority at this moment. "Marcella!" I yelled again when I was at the front of the crowd and could see her but she didn't turn still. She took a step forward. 'No, I can't loose her, not again' I thought to myself "hey dude, why are you so worried about her. She's a nobody and nobody likes her. Let her jump, it'll be good for everyone" some random dude started talking to me "you know nothing about that amazing and beautiful young women up there you asshole" I raged and punched him in the face. I turned when I saw Marcella take a big breath and slowly picked her right foot up. "NO" I yelped and started running towards her. She was just seconds away from death, seconds away from me loosing her, seconds away from never seeing earth again. She dropped. Not in the water though, or on a huge pile of jagged rocks, no. She dropped in my arms. I made it in time, I was so thankful but I was crying tears of sadness and happiness. "Marcella, why?" I choked out "wh-why are y-you he-here?" she stuttered, looking hopeless, tired, and afraid "because I wanted to see you, I needed to. Don't ever do that again please, PLEASE!" I cried harder when I nuzzled my face in the crook of her neck and as if on cue, the rain started poring down. "M-Michael why are y-you here?" she asked again "because I read your diary because I went to your house to surprise you. Yes, Robert was there but nothing happened" I said, still shaking "wh-why are you trembling?" She asked as she sat up, putting her hand on my shoulder, and looking at both of my eyes in confusion "because I'm cold, it's freezing and raining, and.... I'm scared because I thought I was gonna loose you" I whispered and still cried. She didn't say anything, just grabbed the back of my neck and pulls me into a hug. It was still raining and everyone had gone but I didn't care because it was just us two.