Destiny- Byron Miller

~1~

Hello there! My name is Byron Miller. To start this off I think I will say what not a lot of people know about me, and that is that I am very very gay.

When I was 10 years old I got my letter telling me that my soulmates name would appear on my wrist, almost like a tattoo. Imagine the shock when it was a male name. I was only 10 so I wasn't really aware that being gay was a thing.

My mom was totally fine with it. She gave me a hug and told me that she loved me, even though I didn't really understand completely yet.

My dad however, refused to even be in the same house as me. My mom tried over and over to change his mind. To just accept me for who I was and who I was destined to be. In the end, he ended up leaving us 4 days after my 10th birthday. I haven't seen him since.

When I was 11 years old, my mom met a guy named Mark. Mark was great. He accepted me and loved me like a son. Eventually him and my mom got engaged when I was 12, just a year after dating.

Then the wedding got pushed back a little bit when my mom became pregnant with my sister, Maisie.

But when I was 15 everything changed. Mark was supposed to go on a trip to France for work.

Mark called my mom right before he took off on the plane. That was the last we heard from him. We got news that his plane crashed in the Atlantic ocean. There were no survivors.

Maisie was only 3 years old when she lost her dad. She couldn't sleep at night anymore. She didn't eat a lot. She stopped trying to learn how to use the potty. I didn't expect her to even understand what happened. But she's a lot smarter than I pegged her for.

Because my mom was still grieving very hard at first, I didn't want Maisie sleeping with our mom at night. I felt like my mom needed her space. So I did the only thing I could think of.

I brought her to my bed. She was little so she didn't take up much room in my full size bed.

Although, she wasn't fully potty trained yet so it was kind of weird having to wake up and change a diaper on my own. But this skill would come in handy for the future.

But, two years later, I'm 17 and she is 5. She still sleeps in my bed to this day. It's our nightly routine now. It is weird anytime she's not sleeping in my bed. She cuddles into me at night and when it's cold out, I make sure she's warm.

My mom has turned to alcohol as her grieving technique. And that is why I've stepped up to parent Maisie while my mom is out getting drunk off her mind.

I have become her father figure. I've started bathing her and feeding her and dressing her and doing her hair and driving her to school.

I was even forced to potty train her. She was still in diapers at 4 years old. That was 2 whole years of me changing her diapers. I was never told how to potty train someone. So I had to figure it out on my own. I eventually got her to do it. She had to be potty trained in order to start kindergarten, so I knew I had to teach her fast.

My mom was unemployed. The years before Maisie was potty trained, I used to come home from school with her still in a dirty version of the diaper I put her in that morning and my mom passed out on the couch. I would have to change her really quick, feed her lunch, and then head out to work from 3:00-10:00. When I got home, Maisie would still be in her clothes, in the same diaper, unbathed, hungry, and awake way past when she was supposed to be asleep. It was 10:00 at night. I still had homework to do. But I had to put her in the tub and wash her, put her in a diaper, feed her dinner, and lay her in my bed. Then I would be awake doing homework into the early hours of the morning.

This life was unfair to both of us. We wouldn't be in this situation if my mom never picked up the beer bottle. It was like we didn't matter to her anymore. She wasn't the same mom I had when I was 10 years old and found out who my soulmate was. I never got kisses or hugs anymore. Maisie only got them from me. She's 5 and longing to have a mother that cares.

Pretty soon I'll turn 18. Then I will legally make myself the guardian of Maisie. I don't trust anyone else to do the job. I've sacrificed so much for this little girl.

I've given up my love life. The only way that I'll find my soulmate is if they find me, because I have no time to go looking for them.