Destiny- Byron Miller

~18~

(the following week)

"Byron! Are you almost ready!" Maisie yelled impatiently from downstairs.

Today was the day we were finally going to see our mother. I'm so nervous I feel like I could throw up.

I think that's why I'm taking my sweet time to get ready to go. I don't think I'm ready to see my mother again.

There's still that voice in the back of my mind telling me to stay away. Telling me that she's going to hurt me again. Telling me that all we're going to see is empty beer bottles and a wreck of a person.

But I know that this needs to happen for all of us. Regardless if I'm ready or not. Because Maisie is ready and the last time my mother saw Bailey she was just over a month old. Now Bailey is starting to get ready to crawl and is being so much more vocal.

The other part of my brain is excited to see my mother just to show her how great I'm doing and show her everything she gave up on.

"Lets go!" Maisie yelled again.

I grabbed the diaper bag and then headed downstairs.

"I'm sorry, I had to get the diaper bag together," I said giving an excuse.

Maisie rolled her eyes and then opened the front door. I picked up Bailey and then grabbed the keys.

Once everyone was buckled into their car seats, I started the car and we were on our way towards our excuse of a mother.

The drive wasn't too long. Although it felt pretty long because Bailey wouldn't stop crying.

It was a relief when she stopped crying when we pulled into the parking lot.

Our mother was admitted into a treatment facility for addicts after we went to court.

And that's where we're meeting. I was a little hesitant to bring the girls there at first, but the workers assured me that we would be safe the whole time.

When we got inside we signed in and a very nice young lady brought us into a small quiet room. There was a table in the middle of the room with 4 chairs around it.

We took a seat and waited a few minutes. I could tell that Maisie was starting to get a little nervous as time went on.

When the door on the other side of the room opened we were greeted with our mother and another worker.

When she sat down in the chair across from me I actually almost threw up. There was so much trauma built up from years of abuse that it was hard to stay strong.

"Mom!" Maisie yelled excitedly.

"Hi sweetie," she said in return, "Hello Byron.

"Hello Michelle," I responded while being unable to make eye contact.

I physically was not able to call her my mother. She never acted like it so she didn't deserve it.

"Is that Bailey? Oh my goodness, she's gotten so big!" my mother said in shock.

"Yeah, that's what happens when time goes by and you're given the right things, like food," I couldn't help but say. Maisie is underweight for her age because we struggled for so long to be fed. Three years of her life she was under fed. I ended up being fine because I was already almost full grown, but she was only 2 years old.

"Byron, I am so sorry for everything I've put you through. I cant even ima-"

I cut her off by saying, "I didn't come here for an apology. I came here because Maisie wanted to see you. And even if you apologized I don't know if I could even accept it. And if somehow I did accept it, it would only be because that's what I would want Maisie to see. Because I am her role model. I have to show her that being kind is the way to go. I have to show her how to handle emotions and that alcohol will never be the answer. I have to show her what it's like to function as a human being. Because for so long she was fed the wrong information. For so long she was being taught the wrong things. For more than half of her whole life I've been trying to save her from turning into you. But I already know that Maisie will be everything you couldn't be for us. And that's because of me. Not you. And I didn't want to admit this, but you terrify me. I almost threw up when I saw you. Years of neglect and abuse from you. But now I have my family. I have Maisie and Bailey. I have Daniel and Sienna and Elowen and Henry and Lana and and Amanda and Gwen. I don't need you anymore. So don't apologize to me. Apologize to Maisie and Bailey. Because by the time you left them, I was already gone."

The room was silent. Tears were streaming down my face but I didn't bother to wipe them away. My mother was crying now too. Maisie sat there shocked and confused.

I was relieved. I've been wanting to tell her that for so long now. I was just waiting for her to apologize to Maisie now.

"My little Maisie. Sorry will never cover how bad I feel. It will never be enough. I don't know if you will ever love me again, but that's okay. I know you have Byron and your sister. They will give you a better life than I was ever able to give you. I'm sorry you lost both your mom and your dad. You are so little to be dealing with this. And that is why you are so amazing. Even though all this was going on around you, you still remained the smart beautiful girl that I saw when you were a baby. I hope you can move on from me. I wish you the best that life can give you. And I know that Byron will be there to ensure of that."

After she said that, she stood up and walked around the the other side of the table. She then kissed Maisie on the head and then kissed Bailey the same.

"I love you, Byron" she whispered in my ear and then walked out the door that she came from.

"Byron, can we leave now," Maisie said from beside me. I nodded my head and then got up from my chair.

I had Bailey in one arm and then Maisie's hand in the other.

I signed us out of the facility and then headed for the car. I was absolutely drained. And I could tell that Maisie was too.

"Can we go to Sienna and Elowen's house?" Maisie asked from the back seat.

"Umm...sure," I said. I wasn't sure why she wanted to go there, but maybe she just wanted a distraction from everything that just happened.

I pulled into their driveway and then got the two girls out of their car seats.

When Daniel answered the door he was pleasantly surprised.

Maisie immediately ran upstairs to find her friends.

"Hey! how was the meeting with your mom?" Daniel asked as he shut the front door.

I couldn't hold it in anymore. I started crying right there in front of him.

He then grabbed Bailey from my arms and put her with Lana.

He then grabbed my hand and took me to his room. We didn't do much that day. He just cuddled with me and let me cry it out without saying a word. He is perfection.