Destiny- Byron Miller

~8~

That morning I called Harper right away. But with my luck, she was out of state and couldn't watch Maisie.

This means that Maisie still has to come to court. But she still isn't feeling any better. She has been throwing up constantly and has a fever of 102.8°F.

I got myself ready first. I was dressed in my nicest suit with my hair done and polished shoes. After that I got Bailey in a little dress and a headband that matched.

Maisie was a little different. I got her into some sweat pants and one of my old t-shirts. I just want her to be as comfy as possible today.

I ate some eggs, Bailey drank her milk, and Maisie would only drink apple juice. At this point I would take what I could get.

Amanda came over not long after. We figured we could just drive there together.

"You guys look rough," she said once in the door.

"It's been a long night. Bailey wouldn't stop crying and Maisie got really sick all of a sudden. And then I tried to find someone to watch her so that she wouldn't have to come to court, but I'm out of options," I said frustrated.

"I would keep talking about this but we have to get going."

So then we all hopped in the car and started making our way to courthouse.

The courthouse was a moderate sized building. It was brick and blended into the buildings around it.

Not long after we arrived, we were sworn in.

It felt weird going against my mom. But I guess I'll live through it if it means being in carge of the two angels.

I had to speak first.

"It is in Bailey and Maisie's best interest to be in my custody. I have raised Maisie for 3 years now out of 5 and Bailey her whole life. I know their schedule, I put them to sleep every night, I make sure they are somewhere safe, I feed them, I bring Maisie to school and help with homework. Sometimes we go weeks without seeing our mother. My mother is an alcoholic. It is dangerous for them to be left alone with her. Even though she has never physically hurt any of us, she has neglected us. That alone is very traumatic. i-"

Maisie took this moment to throw up.

I immediately was by her side. Luckily they were nice enough to put a trashcan next to her seat so that there wouldn't be a mess. After she was okay again, I continued with my statement.

"I am financially stable with a nice paying job. I will be done with high school in a few months. It is in their best interest to be under my guardianship," I finished.

The judge followed my statement with, "Has Maisie ever said that she would rather be with you? or has she ever said that she doesn't want to be with your mother?"

"Every time I ask, she is sure that she wants to be with me. And she has made statements about not wanting to be near my mother."

"Okay. I'm going to ask if I could please have her answer that question herself," the judge said calmly.

I picked Maisie up into my arms and brought her next to me in the stand.

The judge continued with, "Maisie. If you could pick, would you want to live with Byron or mom."

"Byron," she said quickly and quietly.

After that the judge said "okay" and said that Maisie could head back to her seat.

On the way back to her seat I thought she just fell.

I heard a thud.

As I turned my head to look at her to make sure she was okay, I realized it wasn't just a fall.

Maisie was on the ground seizing.

I immediately ran over to her while screaming that something was wrong.

The cop in the room came over and rolled her onto her side so that her airway wouldn't be blocked.

Someone must have called 911.

The ambulance was here about 3 minutes into the seizure.

She continued to seize for about 4 more minutes.

After that, Amanda took Bailey, and I got in the ambulance with Maisie.

In the ambulance, Maisie threw up twice and was crying hysterically.

It broke my heart to see such a sight.

When we arrived, we got seen pretty much immediately.

When little kids are this sick and have seizures to go along with it, the situation gets attention very fast.

After many, many tests and lots and lots of waiting, it turns out that Maisie has sepsis.

She was moved to the ICU to ensure she gets around-the-clock care.

This was one of the hardest days of my life.

The sepsis caused her fever to rise even more while we were in court, but we didn't know that. The doctor estimates it could have even reached 105–106°F. And because of the spike in fever, it caused a febrile seizure.

Now I have to sit and watch my baby as she has antibiotics rushing through her veins, IV fluids, oxygen, and medicine to not only keep her blood pressure from falling but also to support her body.

I have no clue how we ended up this way.

She's my little girl.

And she looks even littler in the big hospital bed. She keeps crying and crying and crying. She just won't stop no matter what I do.

It really makes me question whether I really am the best option for her or not.

I think it was 1 am when I finally broke down. I had to step into the bathroom while I tried to calm my tears. It hurts so bad. It hurts so bad to see someone you love in so much pain. God, I can even hear her from within this bathroom. Screaming her lungs out to make it stop. But I don't know how to make it stop.

I take a deep breath.

I need to be there for her.

I need to be okay for her.

She needs me.

I walk out of the bathroom and walk to the side of her bed. Her hair is in a giant knot from being soaked with sweat and tears. Her face is covered in hot tears and snot from her nose.

I lift her small body and move it to the right side of the bed. I climb into the left.

Her sobbing became quiet, although I could still feel her cries. I could feel my shirt becoming wet with her tears as she snuggled into my side.

Maisie finally seemed to find some peace in that moment. And that made me very very happy.

Her doctor came in less than a minute later. He said that he became worried when her crying stopped. He thought something went wrong. And apparently so did a lot of people in this section of the hospital. Pretty much everyone could hear Maisie's screaming and crying.

The doctor checked her vitals one last time before heading out. And I decided it was time to maybe rest for a while.

After all, it has been a very long day.