The Boy Who Never Spoke

Dilemma

"Turn left from there...", she said pointing her finger above Lok's shoulder as he glanced at it and slowed down just short of a speed breaker. They had been wriggling through a maze of narrow lanes for the past twenty minutes with each lane being the mirror image of the other" You see that temple...it is just two blocks away from it", she spoke near his ears, loud enough to permeate through the little gap between his head and the helmet. It had been nervous sixty minutes in which he stopped a touch short of hitting a dog running across the road and almost bumped into the side of a car. The thought of having her at the back had been a nervous beautiful moment in that eventful day. His hands went easy on the accelerator each time she held to his waist tightly. He hardly spoke yet he knew it was a feeling of self importance, of being loved, of being trusted, as wonderful as her smiling face with her silken black hair cascading on her shoulder with eyes looking intensely at nothing, but his eyes seeking answer from his hesitant existence. It had been nothing but that passion that drove him to her home on that dark night till it was illuminated by the bright lamps at the gate of a semi-grand two  storied building with a dog barking incessantly, the moment his bike tires came to a screeching halt. 

"You live here?"

"Yes. My father's house. That's my dog barking, Ruffer, is the only friend I have in this house. You know what - I don't like it but is my compulsion. I wish I could run away... "

Lok held her hand that rested precariously at the edge of her shoulder bag. She looked at her. The foggy night tried to hide her face yet he could see it blossom like a flower in a spring season. She relented and obliged by coming closer. 

"Everything will be fine soon, Sneha", he whispered to her ears as she she watched him closer than ever before. "Thank you, sir", she said bursting into a short joyous laughter before walking in through the gate. He looked up and saw a silhouette, that had been watching them but now it went in. He breathed in heavily and hoping what he had said to her sometime back, he started his way back to his home.

" How come you are so late, today?", his mother asked with a look of surprise on her face.

"Had some work..", he said while removing his socks. He hurried his way back to his room only to be caught by yet another question 

"What work ?"

"Had gone with one of my friends to leave her home"

"Why did you go to leave her home?"

He inhaled heavily and looked down before her mother re-iterated the question, that launched him to give an answer

"Because I wanted to. Nice friend she is, of mine, Ma" He patted himself to have been able to calm the storm that he feared had been raging then and walked away to his room, to change clothes before eating the dinner. 

Just as his mother had served the chappatis and was serving his favourite mustard fish curry, she enquired,

"What is the name of your friend whom you went with ?"

It is a universal truth that most mothers can never tolerate a secret being kept from them by their children and Lok's mother was not an exception. She had been very vigil of his only child right from the beginning. He wouldn't even eat a single thing outside without letting her know and now by that same vigilance she looked at him in hope of an answer. 

"Sneha"

She kept the bowl on the floor and fell into a thought for a while as he tore his chapatti into pieces hesitantly.No sooner had he stuffed his mouth with the first bite of the delicious rohu than she shot back

"You were with a girl till now ?"

"Ma, she is a nice friend of mine. We both study in the same branch. It was late so I thought I would..."

"So, what you thought ? Look. Don't get into such business. You go to university to study. Go study and come back home."

"Ma, it was late and I thought I would accompany her home. Just think how would she go if I hadn't given her a ride?"

"That's not your problem. She can go in an auto-rickshaw or get into a bus. You are not suppose to drive her to her home. Your father hadn't gifted you a motor cycle to offer other people rides but for your own convenience."

The spicy taste of the fish curry now proved to be mild in comparison with what he had been going through in his mind. Though he was a nice son in front of the world but he wasn't an angel after all not to get angry with his mother. He retaliated," Ma, what are you saying ? How can you think so selfishlessly ! It was you who used to preach about helping others and being a good person. Now you are saying why I went with her to her home? Look, she is a good friend of mine and I wanted to go with her. That's it." He got up and walked away. Just as he was walking back to his room across the dinning space, he saw his father standing at the entrance door. She started once again, " Do you know what your son did today ? The apple of our eyes took a girl for a ride after the college.."

"Oh, ma ! Can you please shut up ! Dad, it isn't that way. She is my classmate. It was late and she had missed her university bus. So, I dropped her at home.."

"Mind your tongue, son ! How dare you talk like that! Is that what we have taught you ? Look ruffians talk and do things like that - neglecting their studies, roaming around and hanging out with friends till late. We are a respectable family. Never do anything that puts your family to shame."

"So, what do you want me to do ? Pretend to be a mute in the university? Be an odd one out studying, studying and only studying, make no friends, put my head down and rush back to home. Mom, I am nineteen and I am big enough to know what is to be done." He stared angrily at his mother as his father put down the bag of vegetables and pulled back a chair to sit. Thunder echoed outside as the rain drops hit their asbestos roof creating a series of discrete beats like a drummer playing the drum. The noise that nature filled the silence yet the distance that he felt he had created through his words still remained empty. His heart felt little heavy with guilt yet he put up a brave face. His mother looked down. Her shoulders drooped as she picked up the plates and walked back to the kitchen. His father sat in the sofa in front of the television, dosing to sleep. He was too tired after shopping in the market to have given his opinion. He too retired to his room. Locking it, he walked to his bed and sat, staring at the mirror in front and thought

What did I say wrong ?  I am grownup now. Should I not take decisions now ? If not now then when? I am studying sincerely. Sneha is a nice girl, a good friend. I just went with her to make her feel more comfortable. There is nothing like that which my mother was hinting at. Why doesn't she understand this. Everything is under control.  My studies, me and Sneha. We are....just friends.." 

He looked at his hand, the one that caught of  Sneha's hand. He could still recollect its warmth. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath. Never had he pondered at the definition of the word 'friends' for that long. His mother's angry look superimposed on Sneha's smiling face, confusing him into deepest recesses of his mind, till he laid back and fell asleep.