Faded Memories | lp

Chapter Eight

September 3rd, 2014

I get a bit of déjà vu when I hear someone knocking on my door in the early hours. I creep out of bed and peer through the window to the deck. I see a hooded figure standing in the light rain outside my door. I hesitantly walk forward, not catching the guys' eye until I hit my knuckles against the doorframe.

He looks up and I smile.

"Liam, can't you at least call before you visit?" I ask, letting him in. He leans in to kiss me but I turn my head. He pulls back, his heart shattered- again.

"I tried calling but you didn't answer, that's when I realized we were in different time zones." He shrugs off his jacket and runs a hand through his hair. He's shaved since I last saw him. His jawline is clear and appears to be etched from marble.

"Yeah, that might affect things." I mutter. I lock the door behind him and go into the bathroom to get him a dry towel.

"Where are your bags? How long are you here for?" I ask, handing him a fresh towel. He takes it and dries his face and hair.

"I'm here until my manager tells me to leave. Could be hours, could be days." He shrugs. I nod, raising my eyebrows.

"Well, it is," I glance at the clock hanging above the stove, "3:54 am so I'd really like to to back to sleep." I say. Liam purses his lips and walks into my living room. He pulls a blanket off the sofa and pulls it around his shoulders. I watch intently as he kicks off his boots and lays on the sofa. Half his legs hang off the end.

"You'll be okay out here?" I ask.

He doesn't answer, rather he asks if I've remembered anything else.

I think back, "I remember looking for a house with Sonia, and buying this one." I say. It's not much, but it's something.

He nods and focuses on the ceiling. I can tell this is hard for him. It's hard for me, too. I can tell he wants time to think, so I go to my room. I quietly close the door and hop in bed. Tiger crawls out from under my bed and jumps up top with me. She snuggles into my side and I lay my hand over her lightly. She purrs and I gently stroke her soft fur.

I fall asleep to the sound of thunder rolling in the distance.

My sleep was dark and uneventful. I didn't remember anything else while I slept, and I wonder if I will ever get another flashback. Will I ever remember it all?

I open my eyes to darkness. My digital clock says it's well after nine o'clock but it sure doesn't look like it. Dark clouds cover any evidence of the sun. I see lightning.

I smell dirt.

Confused, I get out of bed, earning me a hiss from Tiger when I throw the blankets over her head.

I pad across my bedroom floor and open it to see Liam standing over my stove, making what looks to be tea. He turns and his face brightens, bidding me good morning and returning to his task of making tea.

"Here." Liam hands me a mug, filled with the bitter tea. He then passes me a plate with sugar cubes on it. I take two and plop them in, stirring the cubes until they dissolve.

Liam looks on the verge of tears, "You're so different, but still the same." He presses his lips together firmly.

I set my tea down, "How so?"

"You still take two sugars in your tea. But you're toned down quite a bit, and I like it."

"What? My hair and makeup?" I ask. I remember seeing how crazy my makeup and hair color was, wishing I'd never done that.

He nods. My brown hair hasn't been brushed yet and I'm sure my face is a mess. I don't get how he can find me beautiful in a state like this. But then I realize, that's what love is. Love is seeing the best part of someone, and loving them in everything they do.

Liam loves me, but I don't know how I can still love him. He's a stranger to me. I understand how hard this is for him. It's like I died, because no part of me remembers him. I wonder if me being here in this state is worse than death. Would he prefer I died?

No, he wouldn't wish that on anyone.

I'm about to ask him, but his phone rings. He looks at his phone and grimaces. He answers it and says, "Yeah, okay. I'll get going."

Thunder booms in the distance. The storm's getting closer.

After he hangs up, he looks at me with a certain amount of longing. He wants to kiss and hug me right now, I can tell, but he knows he can't. We're so close but so far apart.

"I have a plane to catch." He mumbles. He goes over and sits on the pastel couch to put his shoes on. He seems disappointed. I go over and sit next to him, he stiffens.

"I'm trying to remember, I really am." I whisper, looking down.

"I know you are." Liam says and he stands. He crosses the room and puts on his jacket. Without a glance back, he walks out of my house to catch his flight.

I don't know how long I sat there before I started to cry. I'm sick of this, I just want my old life back. I went to my room and sobbed into my pillow for a while until the tears stopped coming. I didn't even notice when the storm knocked the power out.

Even though I just woke up, this whole experience has been exhausting. Sure, the bruises will disappear, but I'm afraid the chances of getting my memories back will too.