I really don't know what I was expecting to happen after Eric and I kissed, but I couldn't help feeling rotten when he didn't acknowledge me the next day. Or the day after that.
"Hey, you feeling okay?" Jessi asked.
"What? Yeah, of course! Why wouldn't I?"
"Well you aren't even eating! You're just staring off into space with a stupid look on your face"
I nudged her side with my elbow.
She laughed, "come on seriously. You doin' okay?"
"Yes Jessi."
I picked up my fork and began to force food in my mouth. I glanced up at Eric and watched him wipe chocolate icing from his bottom lip. Goodness he was sexy. He licked his lip then bit it, getting the rest off. I wished I was the one doing that.
Even though that moment on the rooftop wasn't my first kiss, it sure felt like it.
Eric's eyes found mine and I instantly looked away. I didn't want him to know how crazy I was about him.
I turned the knob and pushed the front door open. Right when I was about to step inside, I noticed something sticking out of the bottom of the doormat. I bent down and lifted the corner of the mat to reveal a white folded piece of paper. I unfolded it to see what it read.
Meet me at the bottom of the chasm at eleven. -Eric
I folded it back up and shoved it into my pocket.
Should I go? Why should I? What do I have to lose? Why does he want to meet like this?
I set my watch to eleven so I wouldn't forget. I wondered as to why Eric wanted to meet. Did he want to tell me something? Did he change his mind about liking me?
I made my way to the pit and through the narrow tunnel that led to the bottom of the chasm. Eric was already standing there, looking down at the water.
"You're late"
"Sorry"
I'd been thinking about what would happen at our little meet-up so I guess that caused my walking to falter. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to my lips. I'd almost forgotten what I planned to ask him. I put my hand to his chest and turned away from the kiss.
"What's wrong?" he questioned.
"Why are we meeting up like this? Why all the secrecy?"
"What?"
"The note. Why are we meeting up like this? In the middle of the night in a place like this. You haven't talked to me in days since..."
Eric turned around and paced.
"Oh my god!" I began. Eric faced me. "You're embarrassed of being seen with me, aren't you?"
"What on Earth would make you think that?"
"It's true!" My voice decreased in volume. "You're embarrassed"
"You're being stupid"
"You know what, I get it; I understand. It doesn't look too good when a Dauntless leader dates someone younger than him. And it doesn't help when she's-" I quickly stopped myself. Eric needn’t know my insecurity problems so I quickly shut my mouth. "I get it. It's fine, it really is. I just don't think it's a very bright idea to keep this whole secret going."
I forced a small smile on my face to mask the fact that I wanted to burst out crying. Eric's fists clenched tightly and the vein in the side of his neck became prominent. He turned to face the wall to let out a frustrated breath. I'd left before he looked back. I didn't want him to see the tears spilling down my flushed cheeks. The fact that he hadn't said anything, just proved that I was right.
