binded

grace ; a metaphor

The blaring of rock music and the sight of Zane pulling into my driveway overwhelms my senses. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine being driven to my house by a boy, or even a boy like Zane. But maybe he isn't who I think he is.

"Gracie." he says, putting his car into park, "You ready?"

I unbuckle my seatbelt and swing my backpack over my shoulder while exiting his car. All that Zane has seen is the exterior of my home, and that doesn't compare to what is inside. We walk alongside each other to the front door and I take my lanyard out from my backpack and begin hunting for the house keys.

Amongst my house keys and car keys is a keychain from my deceased grandmother. Well, it is my deceased grandmother. There is a small vial with steel wings and her ashes inside. My mother gave it to me when I turned fifteen and I've kept it with me ever since. Zane takes notice to my thumb softly stroking the wings and I grab the house key, inserting it into the lock and twisting it. When I open the door, Zane has a look of astonishment.

"This place is insane." he comments, a dorky smile as he investigates the photos that line the walls. He darts to the study and gets on his toes to see the top of the bookshelf, where my favorites are.

"You've read The Fault In Our Stars?" Zane asks, pulling it off the shelf and leaves through the immense amount of pages, "I've always wanted to read it but I've never gotten the chance to."

"Yeah, it's one of my favorites." I nod, watching as he stares at the cover in fascination, "I didn't expect you to be the big reader type."

He goes back on his toes and places the book back in its original place, "I love reading, and writing. It's one of my hobbies."

I notice that this Zane and the Zane in my psychology class are polar opposites. It's as if he wears masks, ones for the world and ones that he uses in private. The one that he wears in front of me right now is one that I assume that he hasn't revealed to many. He has a smile that he has only shown to me and my heart begins to pump faster. It almost feels like my pounding heart weighs less than the average human heart (which my mother said is about 11 ounces). Maybe it weighs nothing.

"You can borrow it." I shrug, watching as he stares at me in absolute amazement, "Just promise to give it back."

"I promise." he nods, looking as if he has received a puppy for Christmas, "Thank you Grace."

As opposed to studying for an upcoming psychology quiz, we end up reading in my room. Every few minutes, I push my glasses up my nose as my eyes scan the page and absorb every word. I read the first book of a series that my father bought me before his accident, Perfect Chemistry. We've been reading together for 45 minutes as I make it to page 53 while Zane is at page 44.

Every time I finish a chapter, I check to see how much he has read of his story and he stares at each page with fascination. After a bit, he looks back towards me and my eyes sneak back to the page that I was on.

As I continue to read, I begin to realize that the two characters in this story are strikingly similar to Zane and I. After reading for a certain period of time, I slam my book shut and startle Zane unintentionally.

"Sorry." I look away from him and stand up, "I'll be right back."

I head into the bathroom and quickly pull out my phone, trying to find Penelope's contact. I haven't talked to Juliet since I found out that her and Ava went to hang out with Axel on monday night. She claims that nothing happened, but I still have my suspicions. When I find Penelope's contact, I feel slightly comfortable with talking to her about my subtle attraction for Zane despite not wanting her to know who I am actually attracted to.

<< GRACE >>

Hey Penelope, I feel like out of anyone, you would be able to help me with this rough situation...so I like someone. You know me, you know that I don't really get attracted to anyone. But this guy is so different, he's sweet, and realistically, he is similar to me. I don't know how to handle these feelings, do you think that you can help me out?

I set my phone down on the bathroom counter and sit on the floor, leaning against the wall. My head is pounding and my entire body feels loose. I can't just like Zane, it's Zane! Liking the Zane that is sitting in my room and reading a romance novel is much more convincing than the Zane that does everything in his power to irritate the hell out of me. However, I like both versions of him for some unthinkable reason. I quickly look towards the counter as my phone buzzes against the marble counter. My hand snatches up my phone and I read what Penelope has responded.

<< PENELOPE >>

Of course, you've helped me through so much and the least that I can do is repay you! Juliet has been having trouble with liking some other guy too, so I am happy to help. I think that these are your feelings and if you feel that confident in them, you should act upon it!

Penelope's response has left me in a state of confusion. Maybe Juliet is feeling the same pressure that I am about my feelings...but the guy that she likes is Axel. He's similar to Zane, but also completely different. I finally decide to respond and sigh.

<< GRACE >>

Yeah, I'm just nervous that things could go horribly wrong by me unleashing my emotions on him even if it is the right choice. I don't even know him that well, should I wait until I can determine that he is the right guy to trust?

I am thinking, my mind racing about any and every decision that I can make about the Zane situation. Do I trust my instincts and chose to not trust Zane...or do I take a ride on the wild side and see how my life is affected by it.

<< PENELOPE >>

Maybe try to spend more time with him, that could help out a bit.

I nod as I respond, ending our conversation and leaving the bathroom, hoping that I'm making the right decision by trusting him.

Looks like it's time to kill off Gracelyn and become Gracie. For Zane.