binded

grace ; daddy's girl

A week has passed since the party on Friday night and I've begun to reconsider everything in my life since then. I wasn't myself, I was actually a completely different person, like the devil within me took charge and I wasn't Gracelyn Russell. I became Gracie (it's the easiest since it seems that is what Zane is fond of calling me).

Then I realize that all of this is from Zane, I got drunk and made out with him at some sleazy party that Gracelyn wouldn't dare to even drive past. Yet here I am, collecting my thoughts after a week of subtle flirting and even calling Zane. It feels like I've been tossed into a tornado, swirling endlessly until my vision goes black.

"Gracelyn." my mother calls, tapping on my wooden door, "Are you ready to go?"

I sigh and get out of bed, an achy feeling in my chest. I adjust my pale salmon skirt and fix the black sweater that is over a white tank top. My eyes scan my room, it being the first day that I have worn my new contacts since I broke my glasses. Let me say, it is a lot easier to see everything clearly as opposed to the corners of my vision being impaired from my glasses.

When I walk out of my room, I look my mother in her pale face and hazel eyes to see a frown on her narrow lips. I may not look much like her, but I did inherit my type A personality from her.

"The doctors said that his condition isn't improving." she tells me and I can tell that she has been crying for a while, "I know that you haven't gone to see him in a while and I thought that would be nice."

My mother and I have been preparing for the worst for a while. There hasn't been an improvement at all! The circumstances have been the same every time I came to visit, he lays in the bed and can't move. Can't talk. That is the only thing that sucks about him being in a coma. All of the things that I would ask his advice about, I can no longer do.

When I arrive at the hospital and take the routinely walk down the corridors and past nurses that speed walk to deliver medication to their patients, I dig my nails into the skin of my arm. I get a bitter sensation when entering his room to see all of the different machines attached to him. A blue tube is down his throat and various wires that I want nothing more than to organize are hung like vines in the rainforest. Seeing my dad just laying there makes me extremely uncomfortable and I quickly regret coming along.

I sit on the very edge of a chair with purple leather, my hand trembling to go over his. My soft hand lays atop his slightly wrinkly one and I hold my breath. It doesn't even feel like him, yet I know that without a doubt, it is.

"Hi dad...it's me. Gracie." I say, purely thinking of Zane when I utter the nickname despite my father giving it to me before Zane did, "I'm sorry I haven't come to see you in a while, school has been stressing me out."

Silence.

"I really miss you, I've been reading the book that you got me for my birthday. It's really good, and has been helping me through this tough time."

"That's enough Gracelyn." my mother says, knowing the topic that I was going down.

"You know, mom hasn't been the best. She yelled at me for not doing too well in school and hasn't seemed to care about anything anymore..." I mutter, knowing that a statement as bold as this could get me in more trouble than I ought to be in.

"Gracelyn Dianne Russell." she snaps and I tense up. All or nothing.

"I wish that she was the one laying in that bed, because you actually understand me." I whisper to him.

And once again...silence.

I stand up and walk out of the room at a slow pace, leaving the melodic heart monitor and jungle vines behind me.

And as I walk down the hallway, I pull out my phone and call Zane.