binded

grace ; needle

Excluding my diagnosed phobia of blood, I obtained another one after a visit to get my blood drawn in 5th grade. Shots, more specifically needles. The sharp, stinging pain as the tip of the needle enters a random vein in my hand (the nurse tried multiple times to find a vein in the crease of my elbow, but had no luck) and an odd sucking feeling as blood exits my body and goes into the syringe.

And yes, I passed out. But that was Gracelyn. Gracie isn't afraid of pointy needles and profusely bleeding. She is only scared of one thing, possibly losing Zane despite barely knowing him.

That is why I have changed, to be more like him. And with that comes tossing my old fears into a trash compactor and watching it crumble into nothing. The easiest way that I have chosen to do this is ask Zane to go with me to get my nose pierced.

I drive to the address that he gave me, makeup pounded on my face and metal music blaring. Personally, I'm not a big fan of it, but the screaming drowns out my thoughts and even my apprehension on getting the piercing.

When I pull up to his house, I put my car in park and turn the knob down so the music fades. It takes a few moments for Zane to come out of his house, but I can see why when he comes closer to the car. He looks really good. Like...insanely attractive.

Instead of a cocky smirk, he has painted on a grin. A big happy grin of someone who just won the lottery or is Charlie Bucket who has just found the golden ticket and is running home to his shack. He's happier than I have ever seen him, and that on it's own makes me happy as well.

Zane opens the passenger side door and slides into the seat, swiftly shutting it behind him. Before I realize it, he is kissing me. One hand on my cheek and the other resting on the center compartment.

In every single novel or movie, people connect passionate kisses to fireworks. But for Zane and I, fireworks don't quite match our relationship. In fact, it is much more aggressive than a beautiful explosion. It feels more catastrophic, but in a good way.

Like we are in a war zone and are hiding in a foxhole, praying to whatever godly force there is that our lives won't be lost. The rush of adrenaline...the odd sense of vibration. All from just a simple peck.

"Sorry I took a few extra minutes." he says, pulling away to buckle his seatbelt, "I had to help my brother with his math homework. How have you been?"

I put my car back into drive and follow the directions on my phone to the piercing parlor,"I've been good, my grades have been dropping, but it's no big deal."

Despite keeping my cool composure, I am mentally freaking out over my two C's and one D. It just so happens that my lowest grade is AP Psychology, the class that Zane and I have together. He seems to be doing fine which is throwing me off.

"That sucks." he says, looking straight forward, "Are you just getting your nose pierced?"

I nod, turning out of his neighborhood and into the street, "Yeah, that's all the money that I have. Are you getting any piercings?"

"Yeah, just my ears though." he answers, checking his phone for a moment. I peek over to see who he is texting. All I can see is an unknown phone number and someone asking to speak to Trinity. Must be a wrong number.

"Earrings would look good on you." I comment while stopping at a light, "If you pick my nose stud, I get to pick your earrings,"

Zane nods and shoves his phone into his pocket, "Yeah, I like the sound of that."

When we pull into the parking lot of the piercing shop, my mind fills with regrets. It's gonna hurt, mom is gonna be pissed. Then it hits me, I'm eighteen in a few months, why do I care so desperately about her approval? I rip the keys from the ignition and open my door. No turning back.

While walking towards the door, Zane quickly reaches for my hand and my heart stops beating for a split second. I think that he can tell how nervous I am, so I squeeze his hand in return as a way of saying that I am okay. But am I? I think so. Okay enough to get a needle shoved into my nose for appearance.

A tiny bell pings when the door opens and I walk towards a desk. Putting my arms on the counter, I smile wide and feel Zane wrap an arm around my waist.

"I'm here to get my nose pierced, just a stud." I say,"And he wants to get his ears pierced."

The man with too many piercings and tattoos for even me to count stands up and leads us to a few chairs in the back,"I'll do the ears first."

Zane sits down, patting his thighs. He doesn't seem super nervous, as if he is used to needles. I swear, he better not be shooting up heroin with Axel or I'll have dump his sorry cute ass.

With his tattooed fingers, he picks up a black sharpie and draws small circles on each earlobe. He makes sure to check that each is even and picks up a piercing gun.

As it gets closer to his ear, I find myself wincing. Maybe I'm not ready...this could be too extreme. But I can't chicken out now.

There is a small click and the man moves the gun to reveal a diamond stud in his ear. Zane doesn't even flinch as he shoots in the second earing and I can feel my anxiety rising. I remember this dumb phrase that I continued to hear during the party. Although it was a drunken blur, I can clearly remember those five words.

Do it and you're cool.

Whether it was from taking a hit of someone's vape pen or giving a random guy a lap dance, everyone kept on saying it. However, as I sit down in the velvet chair, I switch the last word with a different one.

Do it and you're his.

The man shows me a small booklet with all of my options and I try to figure out which could hurt the least. After a minute or so of searching, I decide on a stud with a white opal top.

When he goes in the back to get his equipment and my nose stud, I look to Zane and his face contorts. He knows how scared I am.

"You're gonna be okay princess," he says, giving a reassuring smile and a hand atop mine,"It doesn't hurt that bad, kinda like a bee sting,"

No, I use wasps. Wasps are what fill my stomach when I am around you. Maybe it won't be too bad. I've felt them around him, I can feel them for a split second but on my nostril.

When the piercing specialist returns with his equipment, I begin taking deep breaths. This is actually happening. He takes a wipe and cleans off the area that will be pierced and draws a small dot. Taking a small clamp, he tightens it around my right nostril and holds up the needle.

"You're going to take a deep breath in, and I will put the needle in when you exhale." he instructs, holding it dangerously close,"Breathe in,"

I quickly inhale and shut my eyes.

"Breathe out,"

While blowing through my mouth, there is a quick pop and I feel like someone is pinching my nose. After a few seconds, my nose becomes boiling hot and both of my eyes are watering, but I'm not crying. I open my eyes again right as the man is pulling the needle through and eventually feel the stud on my skin.

"Alright, you two are set." he says, standing up.

I'm quickly relieved as I get off the table and look towards Zane,"That wasn't bad at all. I barely felt it."

"Good, now let's go grab a bite to eat, I'm in need of something." Zane grins, going on his toes to kiss my forehead. And for some reason, I grab his hand as we walk out.

Maybe it's because our hands fit so well together.