binded

grace ; sugar and smoke rings

The next time that I see Zane after getting my nose pierced is on the following Monday, the third of September. He tells me that Axel is selling two of his old vape pens and some e-juice for dirt cheap. With my approval, Zane buys them for us and says that after school we will pick them up and go down to the beach for a bit.

With my mom beginning to work midnight surgeries, she sleeps during the day and we barely communicate anymore. She noticed my nose piercing on Sunday, but seemed way too tired to care. All the other time she isn't asleep is spent in the hospital with my dad. Doctors are losing hope, so I need this distraction.

I head to my locker after eighth period, but run into Penelope before I can leave to meet with Zane. We've lost contact quite easily, but I'm obviously still close to her.

She points to herself with her index finger, then takes her hand and moves it to be horizontal. I will. She then cradles the air with her left arm and sways her right hand. Sing. Penelope's lips tug up into a smile as she closes her hand into a fist and moves it in a clockwise circle. At. Her other hand becomes a fist and she moves them in and away from each other, ending with moving her right hand to her chest and towards me. Winter Formal.

I will sing at Winter Formal.

I put my index finger to my lip, then transition to have my thumb and pinkie out. Really?

Penelope eagerly nods and signs how she will be singing a duet with a sophomore in choir, Naomi, and that she should do fine with two months to prepare. We converse about how she will practice and she says the name of the song by simply showing me her palm and then bringing her thumb to her other condensed fingers and turning them to face her. Africa.

Aside from Panic! At The Disco, Penelope was always obsessed with 80's music, Africa by Toto being one of her favorite songs. God, she sang it so often that I'm sure it will be second nature despite her lack of hearing.

While we are conversing, my phone vibrates in my pocket and I pull it out. Under the approximate time of 3:14 is a message from Zane.

<< ZANE >>

I got the stuff from Axel, I'm parked by the broken light post, meet me there as soon as you can.

I bite my lip and look back up to Penelope, her green eyes full of confusion. I point to myself, then put my fingers to my chest. I have. I then put my two index fingers together and conclude my sentence with pointing towards the sea of students.

I have to go.

I don't give her the chance to answer as I move into the crowd and disappear from her sight. Part of me feels guilty for just leaving her, so I settle for just texting her later and saying that it was a family emergency.

It's Penelope, she'll buy anything.

When I find Zane's car, the windows are partially rolled down and he is in the driver's seat. I startle him by opening the passenger door and notice a brown paper bag in his lap.

"Jesus Grace." he says, a hand on his chest,"Okay, this is the stuff that he gave us. I haven't looked yet, but you can pick your pen first."

Zane gives me the bag and I rummage through it. The first thing that I pull out is a neo chrome pen that appears untouched. I put it in my left hand and find at least four bottles of juice and an identical pen inside.

"How much was all of this?" I ask, pulling out an e-juice called Lava Flow.

Zane shrugs and grabs the other pen from in the bag,"Maybe $75 or $80, but normally all of this would be a shit ton. It'll last us for a while."

I stare at the bottle in confusion and chose to pull out the three others. Mango, cherry and strawberry. Not wanting to risk picking the wrong one, I play a mental game of eeny meeny with the juice.

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. Catch a tiger by the toe. If he hollers let him go. My mother told me to pick the very best one. And you are it.

I find myself pointing to mango and put the remaining three back in the bag. Zane takes the bag from me and pulls out strawberry. While staring at the pen and juice, I realise that I don't have a clue how to put the liquid in, or even how to use a vape pen.

However, I take a peek and notice Zane carefully dripping it into a portion of the pen. He clearly knows that I am inexperienced, yet I am too nervous to ask for his help. Noticing my confusion while screwing the top of the pen on, he takes my bottle of juice and pen. Filling it for me carefully, I quickly whisper thank you.

Zane hands the pen back to me and places the bag in his back seat. When he puts the keys into the ignition with his right hand, he uses the left to bring his pen to his mouth. After sucking in for a few seconds, he pulls it away and blows out a cloud of white smoke. Most of it goes out the window, but some lingers in the car. It smells like a field of strawberries and I look at my rainbow reflection within the pen.

After a few seconds, I bring the tip of the pen to my mouth and wrap my lips around it. Inhaling in, I'm confused when I find myself aggressively coughing. However, Zane is laughing at me.

"You keep it in your mouth, beginner's mistake." he teases, pulling out of the parking lot with the pen in his lap.

"Shut it." I laugh, correcting my mistake and blowing out the tiniest bit of smoke,"What the hell? You had a bunch."

"Inhale more, don't suck it in so lightly." Zane instructs while pulling out of the school parking lot.

I nod and make my third attempt. This time, a cloud nearly as big as Zane's comes out and I bounce in my seat.

"I did it!" I cheer, watching him stop at a light,"I did it baby!"

Zane nods, and turns to kiss my cheek,"Yeah, you did."

After a car drive full of singing and smoking, we pull into a free parking area for a nearly empty beach. Zane stops the car and pulls out a pair of shorts from his backpack. There are also flip flops and he looks towards me.

"Did you pack anything to change into?" he asks, putting his vape pen in the cup holder.

I pull out a pair of light shorts from my bag and gray sandals. He nods and gets out of the car,"I'll let you change first."

When the door shuts, I tug my skinny jeans off and pull the shorts on. Once my shoes and socks have been slipped off, I put the sandals on. Staring at my reflection for a moment, I get out of the car.

After changing in the car, Zane comes back out. I've pulled my straightened hair into a high ponytail and taken off my top to show off a floral bikini top. Zane walks towards me and passes me my pen,"Are you ready to go?"

I nod, tucking my vape pen into my back pocket and leaning forward to give him a quick kiss,"Only if you are."

Zane puts his own pen into a larger pocket of his shorts and reaches for my hand. Our fingers lace together as he locks his car and we step onto the warm sand.

"It's so nice out." he comments, holding his sandals in his left hand and my own in his right,"A bit cloudy, but the perfect weather."

I agree by giving his hand a gentle squeeze, then look towards his legs and watch his shorts ride up his thighs with each step. Then I see tiny red dots on his legs. From injections.