Think Again

"Chris, please!"

Chapter 11: “Chris, please!”

"My happy little pill, take me away. Dry my eyes, bring colors to my skies. My sweet little pill, take my hunger. But within, numb my skin."

Friday Morning

I rolled out of bed the next day and waddled down the stairs as my body was still asleep and my limbs weren’t warmed up yet. My mother was in the kitchen with a mug in her hand while she flipped through the television channels.

“Hey, mom.” I greeted, walking over to her and kissing her on the cheek.

“Ana, sit down.” She’d said before muting the television.

So I did, beside her.

“Is everything okay?” My mind was racing, what if something had happened.

“Honey, I saw you outside yesterday.” She said quietly.

Oh. That’s what this is about. She had my shitting myself there.

“Oh yeah, it was great yesterday. I met his parents and we had dinner together. I had such a good time, she told me - ,” My mother then held up her hand signalling me to shut up.

“Analiese, I want you to keep your distance.” She stated, looking deep into my eyes.

“From who?” I asked even though I knew the answer.

“Him. The boy. You can’t keep seeing him.” She replied stiffly.

“Pardon me?” did she just..? “Why not?”

“He’s going to hurt you again. Just like everyone else. I’ve seen it happen before and I can’t let it happen again.” She shook her head.

“Mom,” I furrowed my eyebrows together, “I know that it happened. I know how it feels, I still feel it time after time. But mom, like you said, you saw us last night outside our house. I can see that he’s not like them. And even if we were something, you know it’s going to happen. I know he’s going to hurt me. But I also know he won’t mean it. Because when I like him and I know what I have coming. I may refuse to believe it but it’s going to happen. I know, mom we will fight we have already but that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth fighting for. I know what I want, and I’ll fight for it.”

I was trying to imply something. I was trying to tell her that she should’ve fought for dad. They should’ve fought what their love. They should have believed in each other, trusted each other.

I knew she understood what I had implied when she got angry.

“I just want what’s best for you. This has nothing to do with your father. If you don’t remember he left - ,” I  shook my head, I didn’t want to hear this.

“Mom, I will never forget that. I’m going out tonight, with him, to a party.” I told her slowly. Half afraid of what she might say and half determined whatever she said wasn’t going to stop me, I let her speak.

“No, you are not.” She said. I had it coming but I was going.

“Yes I am. I’m sorry mom, but I thought you’d be happy for me. I’m happy with him.”

*

3:39 pm

I was going to get in the shower but I ended sitting on my bed and getting my phone to call Kennedy.