you're not him anymore {stucky}

chapter 4

 *third person POV*

it is no lie that tony stark throws, the best parties. people got drunk and danced, they sung they kissed. they ate they jokes. they forgot there problems for the moment and just had fun. the party went well into the night. and after a drink or two bucky loosened up. he went over and talk to steve. and he was brought back to being that kid from brooklyn again. they both were.

so back to being those kids they finally started laughing together again. and for once bucky felt normal again.

eventually the party died down, the guests left and the avengers were left to go back to there respective rooms.

but bucky didn't want to go to bed. it had been a great day and he didn't want it to be ruined by his nightmares, but eventually he did get up and head to his room. he got to the door which was a slight caramel hint to it rather than being a perfect wight, placing his hand on the golden coloured door knob his hands began to shake.

"i don't want to be this anymore" he mumbled to himself.

"you don't have to be" a voice said from behind him. he turned to see loki standing there in his suit from earlier, but his tie was undone and so was the top button to his shirt. he was holding his blazer in his hand. "but you need someone to help you. and i think you know who you want that to be bucky." loki said smiling slightly.

"i know. but today i felt like james and i couldn't. i just. i saw steve and i was like that kid from brooklyn and it should have helped me to be that person again. to remember what it's like and how to get to be there again, but it didn't. it just reminded me of everything that i don't have." bucky sighed. "as much as i want help from him there's an underlying problem that makes it harder to talk to him."

"i know" loki replied. "don't forget that when i came hear i was in no better mental state than you. but i didn't want any help from anyone. anyone who wasn't tony. but i found it hard to talk to him because first of i was sure he hated me. but i was in love with him, i was in love with him but he didn't look at me like that. but it worked out, and it will work out for you too. you just need to try" loki finished placing a hand on bucky's shoulder.

"no matter what happens loki. you don't understand. steve will never look at me the way i look at him" bucky sighed pushing loki's hand off his shoulder.

in reply loki only laughed. not a menacing laugh, or a mocking laugh, but a slightly amused laugh.

"ah, bucky. you think he will never look at you that way because he has always looked at you the same way?" loki asked. bucky just nodded. "bucky, dear. maybe he has always looked at you the way you look at him, you just can't tell because he has always been like that." loki smiled at bucky.

"but he fell in love with a girl, he went on dates with her. he looked at me that way back then. he doesn't think of me that way loki" bucky sighed, his eyes developing tears.

"did you not tell me stories of how you would pick up girls who fancy other girls, chaperone them on their dates so there families wouldn't get suspicious. back in your time it wasnt aloud, but now it is. how do you know steve was not scared of being judged?" loki asked in a quiet voice.

"i-i. um... i-" bucky started but was cut off by loki's soft giggle.

"goodnight, james" loki said patting his shoulder, and walking down the hallway and round the corner leaving bucky with a confused look on his face. as he stumbled into his room and to bed.

that night everyone in the tower slept well. bucky with thoughts of steve in his mind. and steve with dreams of bucky being happier. natasha with maria hills in her arms, clint holding pietro as they slept. loki with tony and finally wanda with vision.

 but those outside the tower. may be the happiest of all. curled together in a king size bed in eachothers arms tears on there faces. a ring on one of their fingers. off in wakanda. sam and T'challa were taking the next step in there secret relationship.

[[a/n]]

[[i hope you guys are enjoying this book, i have pre written the next chapter that will go up in 2 days, a lot happens in it at once, and it is what it is so heads up ends on a small cliff hanger. once again, thank you to all my lovely readers. vote and comment, or i will burn your house down xx]]