Fever Dream || Frank Iero

.4.

MELISSA

Arriving in Philadelphia, I felt somber. A strange comfort came to me, being away from home. But at the same time, I felt anxiety. It was almost funny, knowing that nothing was waiting for me back home but still feeling like I was missing something. In all reality, my apartment was still there- sweatshirt hanging off of my computer chair, coffee mugs that were cleaned but never put away sitting on my counter, a few beer caps strewn about the side table next to my bed. It was like that when I left, and it will be like that when I return. So why I felt so detached, I wasn't entirely sure. I missed a lot of things that wouldn't be waiting for me when I got back.

The bus came to a halt and I looked up to see Jessica bouncing on the balls of her feet, her hands clasped underneath her chin like an excited child.

"This is the first show, can you believe it!?" She thrusted toward me and clamped her hands on my shoulders, her smile stretching from ear to ear. "We are tour girls now, sweet thing. This is going to be the best summer of your life, just you wait."

I sighed, and began to try and force a smile until Jessica frowned suddenly. She quickly scooted next to me in the booth and put her chin on the palm of her hand, leaning onto the table. Despite my constant attempts at manipulating my own emotions, Jessica could see through them every time. 

"Melissa, please just try? Please? I know this is so hard for you. But I needed to get you away from spending every day in your apartment by yourself. It's not good for you, you know that don't you?" She grabbed my left hand and looked into my eyes. "You love this stuff, Mel. The crazy music, the adventure. You taught me this. I want to enjoy it with you."

I gained composure and tightened the grip on her hand, smiling.

"Okay. I'm sorry, i'll try."

She perked up quickly and let go of my hand, throwing her own in the air.

"Excellent! Now lets go, exciting things are waiting."

I stood up and stuffed my phone in my back pocket, along with my ID and my debit card. Jessica shuffled around, briefly fixing her hair before grabbing her purse. As frantic as she seemed, I looked at her and thought about how put-together she appeared. Everything about her was entirely so deliberate- The silver chain carefully clasped around her neck, with the amethyst pendant gently rested in the soft divot between her collar bones. A clear gloss reaching each corner of her lips, reflecting any light that touched her smile. Each curl in her hair bouncing with every step but keeping still at the same time, as if each tendril had it's own carefully chosen place to be.

I smiled for a moment, and took in a deep breath. "Pretty."

Jessica smiled at me and looked behind her shoulder, waiting for Pete to grasp her hand. "Clean yourself up, we're about to meet the other bands before everyone starts setting things up." I frowned at her comment, as I already considered myself ready to go. "There's going to be a ton of eligible bachelors here." She grabbed Pete's hand and began to drag him to the other end of the bus, Pete giving me a sly wink that made my eyebrows involuntarily furrow.

I turned around as they left the bus and headed to the bathroom, to "clean myself up" as Jessica had kindly put it. I rolled my eyes at the thought and entered the bathroom, locking the door behind me. Looking in the mirror, I found myself loosing touch with the reflection in front me and instead focusing on the wall behind me. Maybe I really am being a stick in the mud, I thought. A year ago I would have killed for the chance to do something like this.

Being unable to break my gaze from the deep navy blue coating the wall in the mirror, I noticed the dead silence around me. Let it go, Melissa. Just try and have fun, there's no reason to still think about hi-