Fever Dream || Frank Iero

.27.

The day Gerard was released from the hospital was a happy one. I knew it hurt them to have to cancel a few shows, but everyone was too focused on his well being to suffer the stress. The crew and bands roughed it in the buses for a few days as we- obviously- were promptly kicked out of the hotel.

We all stayed close to each other, feeling the threat of loss. I think that Gerard awakened a lot of things inside of us. The value of sticking together, and being one another's shoulder to lean on. There were a few long talks, and promises made to not let the gloom swallow us whole. Despite the very dark event that we all experienced, we really became a family that long weekend. There was no malice, or talks behind one another's back. Just love. My only regret during that time was that Gerard wasn't there to share it with us.

The band and I went to the hospital together to pick him up, all smiles. We all promised to be as supportive and positive as we could for him coming home, knowing it was what he needed. Jessica and I had the cheesy idea to make terrible looking poster-board signs that read "Welcome Back Gerard!" in drippy, glittery letters in hopes that it would make him smile.

We all stood outside of the automatic doors, an excited anxiousness surrounding all of us. None of us knew who was going to walk through those doors- we feared someone sad and defeated, but we hoped for something better.

I saw black hair bobbing in the distance behind the doors, my hands beginning to sweat.

"Okay everyone, just remember. Whatever it is, we're going to handle it," I said. The others nodded at me, Frank giving me a quick smile from the other end of the line.

Gerard emerged from the sliding doors, and stopped in his tracks once outside. I bit my lip, fearing the worst. He studied our disastrous sign, and then our faces- and the most beautiful thing happened.

The biggest smile I had ever seen spread across his face, and an undeniable warmth filled his eyes that nearly brought me to tears. Gerard ran to us, collapsing into his brother first, the both of them laughing. He came to me next, hugging me so hard I dropped the "ack Gerard!" half of the sign onto the ground. I couldn't help but laugh, the relief of having him back in front of us overwhelming.

"I missed you, fucker," I joked, my cheeks beginning to hurt from smiling.

"You're something else, kid," Gerard laughed, pulling away and placing my face in his hands. He looked at me for a moment, smiling, and pulled me back into a big bear hug.

"Thank you," He whispered.

He let go and gave his hello's to the rest, everyone's spirits noticeably rising once the suspense was over. There was some uncertainty surrounding where we would go from there- mostly about whether or not the last leg of the tour would continue or just be cancelled all together, but it didn't matter at that second. All I cared about that Gerard was safe, and alive.

.

Several hours after we arrived back to the lot, we all decided to hang out outside and enjoy the weather. None of us wanted to outright ask Gerard about how he planned to move forward considering how delicate the situation was- so we decided to wait until he brought it up. I did my best to ignore the small bits of fear that loomed over the happiness, just wanting one second without having to picture Gerard with a gun to his head.

  Some of the boys played a game of soccer as the sun began to set, the kicked up dust reminding me of days at summer camp as a kid. Simpler times.

I separated from the few mingling off to the side, beginning to feel a little overwhelmed now that I was coming down from the emotional high Gerard's homecoming had given me. I took in a deep breath and sat down on a patch of grass, lighting a cigarette.