Waste it on Me (Kim Namjoon X reader)

Chapter 10

Her curly hair scattered across the pillow. The blanket tucked all the way up to her throat. The band aid wrapped tightly around her small head. You wiped her face with a wet napkin. The nurses came in a couple of times to check on her pulses, but for the most part they left you alone.

Yuqi was at her internship in the morning. While working in the lab, there was a small explosion. Yuqi got a concussion and fainted. She's been unconscious every since. The doctor said she should be waking up any minute now, but it's been several hours still. You've been by her bedside every since.

Namjoon let out yawn as he tossed and turn on the couch, his body way too long for the furniture. He too has stayed the whole time. "I told you you could leave. You must be tired." you told him.

"I'm fine. And you need a car to drive you back home." he said, eyes still closed. When you got the call, he didn't hesitate to drive you. He crossed his arms, head flat on the cushion. He was breathing evenly, but you doubt he was actually sleeping.

"I can always get a taxi." you shook your head. He looked tired, and it definitely was not how he had wanted to spend a Friday. He had called the boys once you two have arrived and told them what happened, but to not worry too much since he'll be with you guys in case anything happens.

"Shut up." he said. You were too tired to argue with him. You guys had missed lunch, Namjoon bought you a sandwich at the cafeteria when you refused to move from the room. He was much more patient with you then you were expecting. Maybe because of the seriousness of the situation. "Are you going to have another breakdown?" he asked. You chuckled slightly. When you two got to the hospital, you were practically hyperventilating. Namjoon was the one that asked for direction to Yuqi's room. You cried when you first saw her hooked up to all the tubes and such. Namjoon had to calm you down and force you away from the scene so that the doctors could do their work. At some point, you had fallen asleep. When you woke up, you were laying on his shoulders. You must have been in that position for a long time because your neck was hurting when you woke up. Neither of you said anything afterwards.

"Hey, she's my best friend. Of course I'm worried about her." you said, adjusting the blanket once again .

"But there's more to it than that, right?" Namjoon asked. He sat up, his back pressing against the couch. He gestured for you to come join him on the couch. When you made a weird face, he said it wouldn't be good to disturb Yuqi's with noises. So you two began whispering to each other as you sat side by side, shoulders almost touching.

"She's the only person I have left in the world that actually cares about me." you said. Your fingers were playing with each other. The nail polish on your nails were chipping away, you should really take care of yourself more.

"What do you mean? Don't you have family?" he asked, his head tilting down to look at you clearer. Your eyes were red and puffy and you wanted to hide from him. You took a deep breath before continuing.

"People assume that just because people are related, that by nature, they have to be good to one another. I was one of those people. I was so naive and vulnerable..." A tear fell and splashed on your hand. You quickly wiped your tears away, but Namjoon placed a hand on yours. It made you jump a little. Heat from his hand flow to your heart and spreading over your body. But you knew it was nothing more than just his friendship. In this moment, that was all you needed.

"You don't have to continue if you don't want to."

"You're my friend, aren't you? You'll learn one day or another, if we stay friends, of course."

"I hope so." Namjoon honestly doesn't know what he wants, he just knows that you have become an integral part of his life. Seeing you uplifts his mood. You aren't afraid to tell people how you feel and it's fun teasing you. And sometimes, you do have insightful things to say to him. Rarely can people keep up a conversation with him.

"Thanks. My family was never the greatest. But I had always believed that they would be there for me. I learned that I was wrong at a young age. My father, after failing his business, stayed out later with his friends. Drinking. He would bribe his friends with alcohol and food and money that my family didn't have, simply because he couldn't handle losing people. But they weren't real friends anyways, they ditched him as soon as he ran out of money."

"And with that, came frustration. He drank more, and came home so angry at the world. His face was red, like the devil. The face hovered over my mom and I. That face was etched into my mind with every..." you choked on your tears, your throat knotting up. Namjoon slowly put his arm around your shoulder and pulling you into his chest. He had unconsciously rub the side of your arm and tuck a strand of your hair away from your crying face. He had also pulled you closer to him, resting his chin on your head. You were too distraught to notice.

"...every whip from his belt. He wouldn't stop until he was satisfied, and he was never satisfied. Not until one of us bled or pleaded him. I learned how to defend myself soon after. I could have handled the pain, but my mother." You laughed sarcastically when thinking about her. "She left. One day, when I came back from 10th grade, I found her clothes, everything of her, gone. Just like that, she vanished from my life. I was the only punching bag left for my father.

"I didn't think I have any escape. One day, his rage became unbearable. He threw the belt away, and replaced it with a knife. Despite my taekwondo training, I was no match for his strength. He overcame me. I woke up at the hospital the next day, Yuqi was by my side. She told me that she came over to check up on me when she witness everything. She called the police. They arrested him soon after. He's been in jail ever since."

"Every now and then, I would get letters from him. Detailing how he's getting better, less abusive. And in every letter, he would beg me to see him because he realized his mistakes and wants to make it up to me. I don't really know what he could possibly do to make it up to me. He took love away from me, at such a young age. I don't even know what it is to have someone care for me. Yuqi can try, and she does a lot to make me feel welcome. But she has her own family, her own life. Eventually, I'll have to find mine." You pulled away from him, quickly thanking him for the shoulder to lean on.

"I care about you." Namjoon said afterwards. You turned to look at him, he was serious.

"What?"

He coughed, he had not meant to sound that direct. He does care about you, but doesn't know how to word it to describe his feelings for you."I mean, all of us, the boys, care about you." That was what you thought he meant. "You're our friend. And we'll always be here for you. You deserve happiness and love."

"Thank you." Friends, that was what you'll always be to him. And love from him was what you wanted most.