Waste it on Me (Kim Namjoon X reader)

Chapter 18

Boom!

You sprung up on the bed and looked to the bed on the other side. Yuqi was there, sound asleep. A breath of relief escaped your mouth. The dream felt real, the bullet going through her heart and you couldn't do anything about it. The alarm clock on Namjoon's desk showed that it was a little past 4, the sun would be up in a couple of hours. You tried shutting your eyes again, but there was no way you could have gone back to sleep.

The air outside the blanket was cold. Your suitcase along with your jacket was out in the living room and you didn't want to wake the boys up outside, they've been through enough trouble for you. You noticed one of Namjoon's hoodie at the end of his bed. The most logical thing to do would be to get your own jacket, but it was early and you weren't thinking straight, so you put his hoodie on. Turning the door knob slowly, you made your way to the kitchen, which was right next to the living room. You tiptoed passed the sleeping bodies and grabbed a drink of water. You noticed the patio was vacant, and it was beautiful outside. Unlocking the sliding door, the cold outside world hit you instantly.

There was a set of white patio chairs. You sat down, seeing your breath when you breathe out. The city was silence for the most part, skyscrapers still alive in the distance. The streetlights harboring some moths. The street directly below was vacant. There was a small corner store that was still open. You couldn't imagine working at this hour, but people have to make due. Your classes would start in exactly 6 hours and you wondered how you would stay awake. The door suddenly slide open again and you jumped.

"Sorry." Namjoon whispered. He was holding two mugs in his hand, he handed you one. "Can't sleep?"

"I could have died tonight. I don't mean to sound dramatic, but I was seconds away from dying. And I felt nothing. I felt not fear for myself. And I had promised to take better care of myself, that I should love myself. I wonder what's wrong with me."

"I do think there is something wrong with you." he said. You gave him a glare and he laughed softly, taking a sip of his tea. "Any normal people would be scared to death. Hell, when I heard about it from Taehyung, my heart dropped to my stomach. I was so worried at the thought of losing you, again." He scooted the chair closer to you. "I love how you're putting your happiness first. And I know you don't want to hear this, but I'll put you first too, and I'll help you love yourself."

"Woah, I got the chills." you said.

"Really? I mean, I am good with words." he declared.

"Shut up. It's cold out here." Namjoon got up and went inside without another word. It was surprising and made you felt a bit lonely. But he returned soon afterwards, with a blanket in his arms. He draped the blanket over you, but stopped and smirked.

"What are you looking at, you weirdo?" you asked.

"Is that my hoodie?" You flush over embarrassment and sank down in your chair. "Don't be shy, it looks good on you." The blanket wrapped the both you. Since it was a smaller cloth, you had to be closer to each other. You were pretty sure he had planned this beforehand.

"Why aren't you sleeping? Don't you have class at 8?" you asked.

"Would you be able to sleep knowing that your crush is so close yet so far?" he asked back. His voice was melodic.

"You're right, if EXO was here, I think I might die."

"You're impossible." he whined. "One day, when I get a job at a big company, I'll take you to see them."

"Oh my gosh, are you serious?" you asked excitedly.

"Sure. I want to see your smile. But, I'll tell you this now, you're not allowed to date any of them."

"First off, you can't tell me what to do. And second off, as of they'll notice me. You didn't notice me and we're normal people." You began to yawn and put the mug on the ground so that you won't drop it.

"That's not true. It wasn't true. I think I was so caught up with Seol that I might have overlooked you a little bit. But that by no way means that you're not beautiful. Because you are. Your eyes are so delicate, like the wind. Your cheeks are like Jimin's, so pinchable. God, I can't believe I'm saying all of this, it's so embarrassing." He heard no answer from you. But he did feel a weight on his shoulder. His smile slowly forming when he saw you breathing softly, realizing that you had fallen asleep on him. He stayed like that for a few minutes, to pretend that you were his.

***

Morning rolled around and you found yourself back on top of Namjoon's bed. You don't remember walking back to bed so you might have to ask him later. There was a pounding in your head and your throat felt like sand after the ocean has gone back to its border, dried. You looked at the vacant bed next to yours, your vision was blurry. Yuqi had already gone off to her morning classes. The alarm clock read 10:40. You were so late for your class.

Before your feet could touch the hardwood floor, your mind was swaying back and forth. There were weights dragging your eyelids down. You felt your hands against the wall to support your heavy body. There was no one left in the house. There was a note on the kitchen table from Seokjin saying there's soup on the stove if you were hungry. Although you were, you had no strength to even lift a finger. At this point, you gave up on trying to go to classes, you would have to email your professor when you feel better. You then moved to the couch and let your body falling on the cushions. With the fatigue, you fell asleep again. It was just a cold you just needed some sleep.

At some point in the day, you heard the front door opening, and then quickly shutting close soon after. There were quick and heavy footsteps and soon after, you felt someone at your side. "Oh my god, Y/N, what happened to you?" he asked. You couldn't open your eyes but you recognized that it was Namjoon's voice. He placed his cool hand on your forehead. "You're burning up. It's all my fault. I should have brought you inside sooner. I'm such an idiot."

With all your strength, you shook your head lightly. "Don't be dramatic. It's just a cold." you whispered. His eyes lit up, knowing that you were still conscious. He went to the kitchen and returned with a bowl of soup. He began feeding you slowly, you were too tired to reject his offer. One arm wrapped your back, he blew every spoon to make sure it was cool enough to consume. Then he gave you some medicine. He thought about carrying you back into the room like this morning so that you could sleep on the bed. But seeing how comfortable and cute you look curling up on the couch, he decided against it. He was about to go change and move his homework to the living room when you grabbed his hand, still in a dream as it seems.

"Don't leave." you whispered. Your eyes were still closed on your lips were trembling. He bent down and kissed your forehead, careful to not disturb you.

"I will never leave you." His hand remained intertwined in yours for the rest of the time you two were alone.