The Choice Between Life Or Death *Discontinued*

Chapter 1: Preparation~Edited~

Naruto's POV:
*Alarm blares in the room*

"Ugh... 4:00 am, today's the day. No mission, no faking in front of others, just the truth." I moaned.

I roll off the bed with a thud after turning the alarm off, then grudgingly moved off the cold tiles that soothed my nerves. Was I worried? Yes, and for a valid reason. What I intended on doing today would need to be in secret. Once on my feet and conscious, I began to put some black clothes on. My choice for all black things on my days off is for days when I intend on seeing no one, and so no one would recognize me outside. While preparing, I began speculating about who I was, opposed to who people see.

Everyone calls me different bad names, such as 'dead last, loser, and knucklehead.' Those were some of the nicer ones...The less kind ones would be 'monster, demon or murderer.' for a few examples. I can't confront them or tell them they're mistaken, for if I attempted, it would just make matters dangerous for myself. To top it off, no one would accept me. I would get engulfed by those facts, their laughter, and my usual penalty.

The present me is not a failure like the villagers call me, or am I? I mean I couldn't even save Kurama. My eyes watered as memories of my time with Kurama entered my current thoughts. The good ones were when he would teach me new things and would comfort me in his warmth when I was down. He became my friend and was there for me what no one else was.

The bad ones were when we first met definitely, as well as when I couldn't save him. When I first met him, I could feel his hatred, and at first, I was terrified and thought he would hurt me like everyone else, but instead of harm, he was healing me. This would happen after the brutal attacks, not every encounter with the abusers, but even then I knew it was for a deeper reason than his excuse. Kurama always told me that he only healed me so he could survive inside of me, but I felt like, over the years, he was doing it out of concern mixed with hate of course. There were a few times where he became violent towards me and has swiped at me, but it was all my fault, so I never blamed him. The winner of the worst memory that I have with Kurama would have to be the day that I couldn't save him. That was the day I felt my heart break, my soul shattered into what seemed like a million pieces. After that, I became lost and gave up. Soon, I realized that the beatings escalated. I also noticed how it took hours to heal, so I had to build my mask and use Kurama's training.

"I don't want to think about that right now anyway, what's the time?" I wondered.

I glanced at the time after wiping my eyes with the long sleeve on my sweatshirt, 4:15 am, "I should get moving if I plan on getting there, hopefully with no one noticing me."

I told myself in a whisper. Shaking off my previous thoughts, I skipped breakfast again because I needed to lose weight, and it's not like anyone would notice.

"I don't even have any companions because everyone believes I exterminated many people. There was a single soul I could trust, as they were dwelling within me. You could say I was their jail cell at one point, but now since they're gone it didn't modify anything outwardly; the villagers understand nothing about anything, nothing of the truth, only whatever they want to acknowledge. Crap, I must get going, it's 4:20 am already," I exclaimed to my empty apartment that never had any warm presence, other than my pathetic and unwanted one.

I needed to get ready for the place I planned on going to, as I had a plan to begin writing in the new journal I got. Glancing around, I noticed no one outside as the fresh, spring air tenderly caressed my cheekbone, flowing below my face, and stirred my spiky, blonde hair about a little. The sparse breeze sustained the scent of fresh sakura blossoms within the air. The only sounds that I detected were some crickets that resided near my apartment; unusual frogs were croaking near the lake in the distance, but no humans. Determining there was no presence of exposure from any villagers, I concluded that it was safe to go. As I blended in with the encompassing darkness, I began to make my way to the Forest of Death. There, a tree was waiting for me to join in its silent seclusion, once again.